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Thread Box:
ROTW Reverend Dak
Thread started by SKIDMARCUS at 05.27.09 - 2:23 am

Don't think that its a shame that it took over one year to get this guy to be ROTW; think of it as a testament to HOW MUCH HE RULES. The man planning more Midnight Ridazz rides than ANYONE including the epic #41 The Dada Ride and double-epic #58 The Discordian Ride and tons of other epics I don't even know about, rolling up the tightest Bike Gang in L.A. with the imfamous TWBG, Ridazz Camp Overlord, D&D DM IYM.COM, yo-yo trick inventor (just found out), the chillinest motherfucker that's out-drinking you, out-thinking you, and being the solid, stoic, proverbial MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN (drinking a "Coca-Cola" ;) ... It is with great pleasure I declare...

ROTW: The Honorable Reverend Dak

With so much behind-the-curtain-ness, there are sure to be tons of questions to disturb Dak from his reverend duties... Let' em roll !


dak dak dak dak dak dak dak dak dak dak dak dak dak dak dak dak dak dak dak dak dak dak dak dak dak dak dak dak dak dak dak dak dak dak dak dak dak dak dak dak dak dak !

05.27.09 - 2:33 am


I'm on my way to work but I am definitely going to be thinking up questions, while at work, to ask the good Reverend. He is an inspiration... but more on the subject once I get back.

Jazzy Phat Nastee
responding to a comment by cabhauler
05.27.09 - 5:54 am



The Reverend Dakota Jesus Ultimak is without a doubt one of the greatest people I know.

Questions for inquiring minds:

1. Did you ever beat Mike Tyson's Punch-Out? If so, what round did you defeat Tyson? If not, name the fighter who beat you.

2. While on your recent trip to Spain did you at any point wear a Speedo and/or sunbathe nude?

3. What was the shortest period of time you have ever worked somewhere/for someone before quitting/getting fired?

05.27.09 - 7:55 am




05.27.09 - 8:38 am


OH Honorable Reverend Dak!

My first question, who will I marry?

My second, what exactly is the meaning of life?

And my third, how many beers can you shot gun before you puke?

05.27.09 - 9:21 am


'Bout effin time he was recognized.

Here here!

05.27.09 - 9:23 am


bout time indeed! dak was always an amazing help when i lived there...and even after i moved away, when i came back to visit he got together, and planned my whole bicycle route for the armadillos ride!! CONGRATULATIONS DAK!

05.27.09 - 9:43 am


Reverend Dak? TWBG? Santa Claus? SantaCon?

That's all fairy tales we tell to put little kids to sleep and then steal their lunch money. None of this exists. Move on. Nothing to see here. Another prank by Marcus. Haha!

05.27.09 - 9:47 am


What is a Dak? Why is your brother SO COOL!?? Why do you have a beer in ALL your pictures?!

responding to a comment by stevo4
05.27.09 - 9:49 am


Rev Dak Ultimak is like a brother to me. he took me to eat at pure luck when sexy flaked. thank you rev dak for believing in me.

responding to a comment by widowmaker
05.27.09 - 9:50 am


Dak = Solid Dude. ROTW fo sho.

05.27.09 - 10:02 am


"Why do you have a beer in ALL your pictures?! "

There seems to be a distinct correlation between Dak's beer-in-handness to his coolness. This is not to say he is not cool sans beer, however. Check the bylaws.

responding to a comment by neverclever
05.27.09 - 10:02 am


It's only gay if you like it... And he loves it.


responding to a comment by SPOOK
05.27.09 - 10:12 am


To you General

05.27.09 - 10:32 am


I think you're the first rida I ever met <3 mad love yo

responding to a comment by sexy
05.27.09 - 11:06 am


The Rev Dak became my ROAT when he fell in front of Pioneer Chicken without spilling a single drop of his Coke. I mean, he didn't even come close to spilling a drop, that can stayed perfectly upright as he went down. Now that's what you call a Rida!

Dak, what Interstellar discipline of mind and body do you study in order to come up with the most creative ride ideazzz?

Dak in Deep Though on the Throne of Respect:

05.27.09 - 11:22 am



05.27.09 - 11:26 am



05.27.09 - 11:27 am



The Reverend Dak J. Ultimak first introduced me to Midnight Ridazz in summer '05.

OK - I've known this guy for about twenty years. I used to date his sister in high school. He, his brother, and I became gaming buddies for several years. When we went to Burning Man for the first time, we became keenly aware of each others interest in Pranks, Culture Jamming, Performance art, and other general subversive culture. He immersed me in Santa Cons, Bunny Hops, Erisian Divination, and other various forms of cacophony.

Dak had founded The Church of the Megaphone with Siren. Then, the long established Tren Way Bible Group embraced this new view from the Reverend, and we therefore began 'riding dirty' since '06. After many arduous rides to bars and battles, the fall of the Armadillos, the blood, the vomit, the beer, and the urine; TWBG is now the reckoning force that it is.

Dak has given us such rides as - The Discordian Ride.

He was also a great contributor to - The 3 year anniversary Art Ride, The Dada ride, Clown Ride, Warriors Ride, Salton Sea I and II, and the BM Ridazz Camps.

He has taught me a lot of good things. I am hoping we will endure many more bars and battles to come. People should consult him on questions of logistics and planning for rides and events because he has a lot of great ideas, and he enjoys it.

Rev. Dak is a visionary, a good friend, and I am glad he is ROTW.

Ride On!

P.S. - I hope you ask him a ton of dumb questions.

Joe Borfo
responding to a comment by sexy
05.27.09 - 12:04 pm


Seriously, best beer awareness ever.

I'm not sure if I would be riding bikes again if it weren't for Dak.

responding to a comment by toweliesbong
05.27.09 - 12:29 pm


Rev. Dak,

Why the hell are some of your beard hairs red?

What was your first MR ride?

Where can I find the best bean and cheese burrito in L.A.?

Where does the phrase "In Yer Mouf" come from, any goddam way?

What's with the checkered Vans?

What's with your bike?

When did you start riding fixed, and why, you hipster?

What was it like driving ALL THE WAY TO BURNING MAN with Jeff?

Who let Marino in TWBG?

Why do you only bust out the yo-yo tricks when you're wasted?

And last but not least, how many leg hairs do you have? I'm looking for an exact number.

Oh yeah.....I love you, my love!

Ms. Stephanie
05.27.09 - 12:38 pm


P.S. Insert sexual innuendo about riding weekly here.

Ms. Stephanie
05.27.09 - 12:39 pm


OMG!!! How was this nomination over looked so long???? I mean Javier got nominated for what? Saving someone from walking home and springing for beers a couple of times, BFD!

Dak has made alot happen and ALOT of really cool shit. Funny, the first time I met Dak was on the protest ride that went down Wilshire, from one end to the other. I thought he was involved with some protest organization and it was going to be ashame not to roll with him again. It's great that it turned out the opposite!

Congrats Dak and a well deserved nomination!!

Alot of people don't know what stray couches is. Can you enlighten them about this? I think it's great that you take people in for months at a time and give them a place to stay and feed them.

So some questions...........

- If you and Borfo had a chugging contest, who would win? If there's a dispute, could we see it settled at Choppercabras?

- When are we going to do that drainage tunnel tour?

- Ever thought about brewing beer?

- What's your favorite letter? (you can only pick one)

05.27.09 - 1:14 pm


Its about F*ckin time!!!! Dennis is one cool cat, and puts on the best rides! (Best Ride ever: The Warrior Ride) TWBG ftw!

05.27.09 - 1:30 pm


Love ya man.

responding to a comment by speedybrian2000
05.27.09 - 1:33 pm


I meant that for DAK... (but I love you too Speedy!)

05.27.09 - 1:34 pm


congrats dak. okay questions for you.

1. do you know how to pronounce your last name?
2. do you know how to spell your last name?
3. are there any silent q's in your last name?
4. how long have you been a reverend?
5. how long have you been a vegetarian?
6. is your last name the reason you became a vegetarian?
7. which of your bikes is your favorite to ride?
8. is secret bar still a secret?
9. do you have an all time favorite midnight ridazz ride?
10. are you jealous that although you introduced borfo to bike riding, he has managed to be nominated as Rida of the Year 7 years in a row?
12. where is question 11?
13. are you really going to answer all of these?

responding to a comment by Roadblock
05.27.09 - 1:49 pm


0. is 0 greater or less than 00?
8. gandalf or yoda?
13. joe borfo or adam on the street?
69. your mom or my mom?
89. why did you REALLY retire from hockey?
666. when are you getting a job?
12939. if someone gave you a tommy's burger, no onions, as a gift would you eat it?

05.27.09 - 1:59 pm


This guy . . . I can't say much that hasn't been expressed already. I am constantly in awe of his wisdom, knowledge, insight, talents and enjoyment of life. He's been instrumental in some of the best rides that ever happened.

My gratitude to him and the rest of TWBG for having me along. He's lead me on some real adventures. As long as my courage holds up, I'll follow him to the end of the earth.

Now to think up some questions . . .

mr rollers
05.27.09 - 2:36 pm


Oh my god, thank you so much. I would like to dedicate my nomination to the Original TWBG ('I'll race you for a quarter'), circa 1980s, and to my Mommy, your Mommy, and my siblings. To all my friends, from before, now and the FUTURE. I love you all.

When I heard about it this morning, my feelings were identical and best said by one of my heroes, Previous "ROTW" Cyclist, when he first replied with "Well, it's about fucking time." I also laughed and thought, here comes the stupid questions.

But first I would have to ask you all, How do you do it? How do you look at my DUMB face and take me seriously? Much less listen to me? I mean, goddamn it! Look at those pics of me? The faux-man-chu thing going on? WTF?

Oh well. Thank you Marcus for nominating me. Goodtimes, seriously. More to come, I'm sure.

And now for the questions...

the reverend dak
05.27.09 - 2:53 pm


Awww. Dumb face.

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Ms. Stephanie
05.27.09 - 3:05 pm


Awww. More dumb face.

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Ms. Stephanie
05.27.09 - 3:07 pm


Wow. That's two REALLY BIG dumb faces! Delete!

Ms. Stephanie
05.27.09 - 3:07 pm


Okay, how about this dumb face (crosses fingers):

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Ms. Stephanie
05.27.09 - 3:12 pm


He better get in the ring this weekend!

Joe Borfo
05.27.09 - 3:12 pm


This was the dumb face I was going for above.

Awww, dumb face.

Ms. Stephanie
05.27.09 - 3:13 pm


Oh, yeah, and one more question:


Ms. Stephanie
05.27.09 - 3:16 pm


i recently met the honorable reverend dak and im glad i did. hes an amazing person. so congrats on the ROTW rev dak keep up the good work.

mad props on the beer can cover. blew my mind.

ps. what came first the chicken or the egg???

05.27.09 - 3:48 pm


everything everyone has said is about dak spot on!

i haven't known you long, but you've definitely made a great impact on me. you're one of the nicest, most intelligent, chillinest motherfucker's i've ever met.


who are the founding tren way members c. 1980's?

05.27.09 - 3:49 pm


@cabhauler, that's me.

@Jazzy Phat Nastee, I look forward to your questions.

@bananaphone, 1. No! I have always sucked at Nintendo's games. I played it a lot, tho. 2. I wish, the weather didn't permit. Boy did I love Spain. LA can learn a LOT from Barcelona. California should seceed from the U.S.A., ala Catalonia. That would be awesome. 3. Four months for Sony, Four months with Loop Internet Switching Co. I kind of think I don't get this question.

@TheRaquel, THANKS! Raquel.

@ZombiesGotMyTongue, First, I'm not sure I have the clearance to answer that question without violating some Time-Traveler's Code, or something. Why would [did] you want to get married anyway? Second; Love, Bicycles and Anarchy.

@stevo4, that's what I was saying. Not to gloat or anything.

@widowmaker, Thanks! I do my best, it's what I do. My best.

@Marino, did someone let the cat out again? Of the bag?

@neverclever, Dak is short for Dakota (at least it is now.) My brother IS cool, much cooler than me, fo-sho. I like beer, a lot. I used to be quite the connoisseur. It was a hobby of mine while I went to school. I still love it, but I'm not much of a snob about it anymore. Free is now my favorite flavor.

@Javier, I've always had faith in you.

@hatehills, Thanks man. I hate hills too.

@SPOOK, it might depend on which version of the by-laws you are talking about. In one version it's MANDATORY.

@richtotheie, You're right. I love it. I do.

@sexy, *returns salute*.

@steph, I'm glad I made a good impression. I'm usually a bit stand-off-ish to new faces. I'm really glad we bumped into you (and Lance) that night. It was epic.

@toweliesbong, thank you SO MUCH for the kind words. You were there? In front of Pioneer Chicken? It was the Art Ride/3rd Anniversary Ride. I did the route, Borfo took care of the rest. Borfo borfoed his ribs and legs. I fucked up my wrist saving that beer. I met (or really got to know) a LOT of people that night, including Marcus. Wow, now THAT was an epic ride. I like that pic, unlike the others, I'm OK with how I look. As for the my interstellar discipline? I follow, somewhat, the ways of Rev. Al of the (former) LA Cacophony, the teachings of Eris, and I avoid Theme Rides. (i.e. I go on them, that's fine. I just avoid planning what are just essentially Theme Rides.)

@trickmilla, thanks a zillion.

@meow, where is that pic?! Who bought it?! I still have that crown. It sits proudly in the kitchen.

@Joe Borfo, there is a reason you are ROTYx7. I may have introduced you, but I follow in YOUR footsteps. But yeah, it's true. I have been doing this silly shit for many years now. And I do love it. I can take _some_ credit for some of our rides, but they're mostly you. Where's our bitch, Dingo? I smell his aborigious ass.

@cabhauler, where's that BMX with the cupholder?

@Ms. Stephanie, oh my. Your questions deserve thier own reply.

@User1, you were the first to offer me a beer. I will never forget that. I try to have an extra beer for you, wherever I go. Straycouches.com is currently OFFLINE. I don't have the time to elaborate on it's greatness, but yeah, it saves lives. First question; Borfo would win, hands down. He likes forcing things down his throat. No contest. I wouldn't battle Borfo, ever. Oh, the Storm Drains. It's going to be part of my next EPIC ride, details soon. There are limited seats for some parts of the adventure, I'll save you a spot for the tunnels. Ayeph, is my favorite letter.

@speedybrian2000, who's Dennis? Ironically, I only came up with the theme for The Warriors Ride. Roadblock came up with the concept for the actual ride. I say ironically because I'm the first one to shoot down ideas for rides that are based on just themes. Themes are boring on their own. But thanks! TWBG rules!

@Roadblock, thanks man. Feeling's mutual. Without you we wouldn't have this site. And without this site, no forums, no Ridazz of the Week.

@brassknuckle, fucking Dan. You also need a separate reply.

@neverclever, didn't you already ask questions? 0. I'm not a math geek (re: AT), but I believe 00 is greater. 8. Yoda, no question. Oh wait, Gandalf can kick some serious ass, but... 13. They both scare me. 69. Your Mommy. 89. 0.02% because of my back. $100% the money. 666. When someone hires me, after I start looking. 12939. No, because I don't like pickles in my food.

@mr rollers, Thank you Mr. Rollers. When I grow up, I want to be just like you.

the reverend dak
05.27.09 - 3:50 pm


Absolutely! Dak rules in too many ways to count.

Here are some stupid questions. To minimize the time required to reply, all of them can simply be answered with a number, if you so desire.

Aside from TWBG, MR and Discordia, how many group affiliations do you claim (or disavow)?
How many of these affiliations would you tell your parents about?
How many parents do you have, anyway?
How many additional years of wisdom does a Faux Manchu confer upon its owner?
How many years has that particular Faux Manchu seen in its time?
How many beers has that particular Faux Manchu seen in its time?
In how many ways does a megaphone circle differ from a drum circle?

05.27.09 - 3:50 pm


everything everyone has said about dak is spot on.*

05.27.09 - 3:50 pm


Rev Dak you are Awsome i always enjoy your company and think real highly of you becasue of the good advice you have given me and your strong initiative in planing some of the Most Awesome Rides ever. This acknowledgement has been a long time coming what better way than the way Skid honored you;)

I hope to ride with you again sooon...

responding to a comment by coldcut
05.27.09 - 4:01 pm


Why are some of my chin hairs red? Genetics. Maybe some environmental mutations? Or it could be leftover spaghetti sauce.

I don't actually KNOW what my first MR was. I didn't know anything about spoke-cards, so I didn't get one. It was probably likely I passed on it, thinking it was a flyer or something. My first MR spoke card was for the July in December ride? 2005? My very first spoke card was actually NOT from a MR, but from a Whirly Girls ride. They were at The Roost, and someone gave me a spoke card.

Best bean and cheese burrito, in my humble opinion, is from Burrito King. Before that, it was from Arturo's in Eagle Rock, they're no longer around.

In Yer Mouf! Ok, this is long. Barely anyone knows this, except Borfo and maybe the few I've told the story to. But it comes from my gaming years. Playing tons and tons of FPS, particularily Quake 2 CTF. During "battle" we would talk a LOT OF SMACK. One of my favorites was, after I capped someone with a "headshot", I would say "Hey, what did that taste like, because it was IN YO MOUF!" I used to play a LOT of Quake with Borfo and others.

I love my checkered Vans. Even though they're made in China now, and a size 10 can fit the same as a size 11, I love the. They remind me of the 'old days'. Plus they're cheap, and they're lace-less which makes them ideal for bikes.

I love all my bikes. Particularily PJ, my 1982 Technium Fixed-gear conversion. It looks like shit, I treat it like shit, but she's been extremely reliable. She's been to BikeKill and all over LA. god I love that bike.

Sheldon Brown turned me on to fixies. I also have a bunch of Raleigh 3-speeds. And Sheldon Brown is THE expert on 3-speeds. He mentioned fixed-gear several times, and I had the opportunity to make one. At first I kept it Single-speed. Then Wam-balam borrowed it for a week or so, and he flipped it to fixed. It's been that way ever since.

I've driven to and from Burning Man, TWICE, with Jeff. Nothing like like driving down Gerlach highway with a big ol fluffer by your side. It was Jeff's Birthday YESTERDAY!

I like Marino a lot. I'm going to grow up to be just like Marino, I would rather be more like Mr. Rollers, but the reality of it is, I'm going to end up more like Marino. I don't mind. Marino recruitment into TWBG was my proud accomplishment.

I don't like being "in front" of the curtains. I'm not a performer (like Borfo) and doing tricks of any sort require performance skills. When I'm drunk I don't care as much. And I like doing Yo-yo tricks.

I have 4 leg hairs on one leg, and 6 on the other.

I love you too, I really do.

the reverend dak
responding to a comment by Ms. Stephanie
05.27.09 - 4:08 pm


Yes. I'm older than most of you, and always will be.

My birthday falls on a Tuesday, guess what TWBG does on Tuesday? We ride!

Oh, and there is Bouncehausen.

the reverend dak
responding to a comment by Ms. Stephanie
05.27.09 - 4:10 pm


@andres84, it was really good meeting you too. It makes me happy to meet cool new people.

You can thank brassknuckle for that, he made them first. I'm just one of the idiots that still has one.

I think an egg came first. I might have to check the by-laws.

the reverend dak
responding to a comment by andres84
05.27.09 - 4:12 pm



05.27.09 - 4:19 pm


@brassknuckle, your turn.

1. Ultimak, it's phonetic. My "legal" last name? That's phonetic too.
2. U.L.T.I.M.A.K., yep. Of course I know how to spell it. Oh, my "legal" last name, yes.
3. No Qs, no Ws, no Rs.
4. I haven't been a Reverend for very long, maybe 8 years? I forget. Since we're on that topic, I AM a Reverend, and please refer to me as one. I didn't spend two minutes filling out an online form to just be called "Dak". It's Reverend Dak.
5. I've been a meat eater longer than some of the young ones been alive. I became a Vegetarian when I turned 24. So that'd be 14 years ago? Something like that. I'm not that strict, not at all. Infact I had some pork & chicken this weekend, I love BBQ meat. I feel guilty.
6. Fuck you Wam-balam. I'm tired of your questions!
7. PJ, the fixed-gear 82 Raleigh Technium conversion.
8. The secret bar, on Wednesday, is still AWESOME.
9. I would have to say the 3rd Anniversary Art Ride, it was fucking EPIC.
10. Why would I be jealous. He's a performer, a showman. As Marcus noted, I like stay behind the scenes. Like the Wizard of Oz, pulling the strings - so to speak.
12. See above.
13. I just did MommyFucker!

the reverend dak
responding to a comment by brassknuckle
05.27.09 - 4:22 pm


@coldcut, so glad to finally meet you. As for your question, I think Chillbot75 is on these forums? He's a founding member. The rest are all married, with jobs and/or way too serious to appreciate my art.

the reverend dak
responding to a comment by coldcut
05.27.09 - 4:26 pm



Santa, LA Caco, Yoyo-times, RPGA, Star Wars Fanclub, ... oh, around 5 others.

the reverend dak
responding to a comment by nathansnider
05.27.09 - 4:29 pm


damn, I have a DUMB face.

the reverend dak
responding to a comment by toweliesbong
05.27.09 - 4:30 pm


@skano, aww thanks man. I really enjoy your company. See you soon.

the reverend dak
responding to a comment by skano
05.27.09 - 4:32 pm


Are you going for the Wayne's World Wayne look or is that just by chance?

Did you know Wayne was also a hockey fan?

Can you impersonate him at all?

Has anyone ever impersonated you, or tried to?

05.27.09 - 4:38 pm


Super Effing Hell YES! IYM!!

Dak shoulda been ROTY if Borfo wouldn't keep rigging the elections buying votes w/ his "fire retardant gloves". I wouldn't be riding if it werent for Dak!! He rescued Mel C from the cold shakles of abandonment! Ridazz Camp, SantaCon, Salton Sea... all thanks in BIG ASS PART to Rev. Dak! Not only that but he's like a Jedi or something! How many Light Sabers!? for real, how many! also how many Yo-Yos! and What's yr fave ride been so far!? Did you ever imagine TWBG would be selected for MTV's next reality show? How excited are you for THAT!!? Wow. I know.

05.27.09 - 4:45 pm


I second Nicole's ROTY nomination.

Yr the best Dak!

05.27.09 - 4:46 pm


Salton sea II alone derserves ROTM status. I don't even know you but I know how awesome you are

responding to a comment by the reverend dak
05.27.09 - 4:47 pm


I second that.... and hopefully next year THIRD that?

responding to a comment by larsenf
05.27.09 - 4:48 pm


Reverend Dak J. Ultimak,

What is the best memory of a Tren Way ride?

If you could take Midnight Ridazz anywhere, where would you take them?

If you could pass on a kernel of wisdom to all Ridazz, what would it be?

How many minutes does it take to ride to center camp and back-ack-ack-ack?

Joe Borfo
05.27.09 - 4:50 pm


@GodLovesUgly, Do you mean Grunge? It's likely coincidence because I'm a product of the 70s, and so is Wayne from Wayne's world. I haven't seen the films in over a decade, and I haven't seen any of the SNL skits featuring Wayne's World, so I don't know what you are getting at. I'm just me. And yes, I'm aware that Wayne likes hockey, it helps that Mike Myers is Canadian.

I don't do impersonations and if you have long hair, ride a bike, and drink beer, you're probably stealing my shtick. It's nothing impressive.

the reverend dak
responding to a comment by GodLovesUgly
05.27.09 - 4:54 pm


How come I never see you on the westside?

Hpister de Tocqueville
responding to a comment by the reverend dak
05.27.09 - 5:01 pm



Ms. Stephanie
responding to a comment by the reverend dak
05.27.09 - 5:10 pm



Ms. Stephanie
05.27.09 - 5:12 pm


Haha, yay.

Ms. Stephanie
05.27.09 - 5:13 pm


AnarchoBunny, yay.

Ms. Stephanie
05.27.09 - 5:15 pm


Dak I really like you.

I think you not only deserve this ROTW status maybe even ROTM . You also might be deserving of ROTY, but I can't support it. Yes you have everything to be the new ROTY, but I can't support two Tren Ways in a row to be ROTY.

Actually this whole thread has under tones of a TWBG conspiracy to further the falsehood that the Armadillos are dead and Javi actually exist in human fourm... Armadillos are not dead. They are still alive and well and can serious do damage to TWBG. Actually the Armadillos are just acting like a slum dweller and not turning on the light to make all the TWBG (cockroach like) scram with the light. Come to think of I noticed TWBG only comes out when it is dark. The similarities are amazing.

How long did it take for the "high" of being lovingly recognized by all your friends, comrades, and adversaries wear off from all the typing you have to do to answer all these questions? Don't answer if the high hasn't worn off yet.

05.27.09 - 5:18 pm


Ok, another round of questions. I'm enjoying answering them, well most of them.

@mixtemotions, it's me who rigged the elections in Borfo's favor... for the next four years. Yes, you can blame me for introducing mixtemotions AND Borfo to our little cult(ure). I don't mind taking the blame. 1. I own a buttload of Lightsabers. That's why I crack up when I heard about Officer Cho. I would have replied with, "Oh, you're a fan of Star Wars? Me too." I've been collecting Yo-Yos since I was 8 or 9. I have a few. I have an even larger collection of smashed pennies. I mentioned that the Art Ride is my favorite, as for a ride that I didn't have an hand in, I would say it was the Make-Out ride. That ride was totally EPIC, helicopters & pursuit cars in Glendale, a bunch of crashes and it ended at Angel's Point. For non-2nd Friday Rides, Sins & Sprockets and Cruz with Us were the best. TWBG should have its own TV network and movie franchise.

@Mook, aww, you're the best.

@larsenf, I _think_ I know who you are. I'm glad you enjoyed the trip to Slab City, I love that place.

@Roadblock, we'll see. I'm stumped for new ideas. I have a really short attention span.

@Joe Borfo, a separate reply in in order.

@Hpister de Tocqueville, I'm out there once in a while. I'm due for a CrankMob, and I really enjoyed Pier Pressure. I live in Glassel Park, and it's not ever remotely easy heading West. Unless you're talking about the Valley, then it's easier. Some of the best ride organizers (and personalities) claim the Westside, so you're in good hands without me. Soon, ok. Soon. Say Hi.

@Ms. Stephanie, *lick*

the reverend dak
05.27.09 - 5:21 pm


oh.. and I forgot to mention. I think your girlfriend is HAUT!

05.27.09 - 5:21 pm


Hagbard Celine
responding to a comment by sexy
05.27.09 - 5:22 pm


Reverend Dakota Ultimak

Dak weather or not he knows it has had a very noteworthy impact on my life, for that he's a man that I'll never forget. I met him on SFVCM about a year ago along with Borfo & Harry. Ever since then things went in a VERY different direction for me. Definitely for the better.

I cant being to thank him for all the special things he's opened me up to big and small.

I'm sure he'll be content knowing you made an impact on AT LEAST one person.

Now please...

Get a job you Hippie! Get a job you Hippie! Get a job you Hippie!

05.27.09 - 5:23 pm


I've also never met anyone so stuck in the 90's. (its a good thing.)

05.27.09 - 5:25 pm


Rev Dak, do you know where this slice of heaven is?

Hagbard Celine
05.27.09 - 5:25 pm


PS who's that dude playing guitar in the middle?

Hagbard Celine
05.27.09 - 5:26 pm


I don’t have any dumb comments or dumb questions about/for Dak… but I will share the dumb pictures of him at our house
We miss having you as a guest

05.27.09 - 5:32 pm



05.27.09 - 5:33 pm


Where's your Coke?

Hagbard Celine
05.27.09 - 5:52 pm


@Joe Borfo,

What is the best memory of a Tren Way ride?

The best ones are the ones I barely remember. There is usually The Secret Bar involved, and chillin on the Bridge. I do love the 415G rides too, I miss the Armadillos - sometimes.

If you could take Midnight Ridazz anywhere, where would you take them?

Barcelona, Catalonia. LA could learn a LOT from Barcelona. Barcelona has a blooming bike culture, and their Bike Infrastructure was installed only about three years ago! Bicing is brilliant.

If you could pass on a kernel of wisdom to all Ridazz, what would it be?

In general, remember what got you into MR in the first place, it's Fun Social Event on Wheels. It's not a race, there are tons of those. It's not a fucking popularity contest either. It's a bike ride with real good friends.

How many minutes does it take to ride to center camp and back-ack-ack-ack?

20 min.

the reverend dak
responding to a comment by Joe Borfo
05.27.09 - 8:15 pm


@sexy, oh dave, let me bask for a while. It's a short week.

the reverend dak
responding to a comment by sexy
05.27.09 - 8:18 pm


Speaking of Ridazz Camp at Burning Man:


Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Ms. Stephanie
responding to a comment by the reverend dak
05.27.09 - 8:19 pm


.....and OooooooooooH!:

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Ms. Stephanie
05.27.09 - 8:24 pm


good choice, somebody I'm actually sorta familiar with.

05.27.09 - 10:04 pm


Awesome questions / answers!

You mentioned "Theme Rides" vs "Your Art".. Can you elaborate the difference? I have an idea, but I want to hear you bring it out in your terms..

05.27.09 - 10:04 pm


I don't know you
I like your hair
you must be cool
what music like you?
Where you at Heavy metal ride? Maybe I saw you

05.27.09 - 11:02 pm


Woah, dave! Where have you been? Or, should I say, sorry I haven't been out in the Valley for a while.

I meant to get out there last night, for Barchops, but I started getting sick. It was a long weekend that didn't end until after Lance's thing at the Smokehouse.

See you soon.

the reverend dak
responding to a comment by dave
05.28.09 - 9:19 am


it's all your fault! you took beer from the tree of knowledge.

p.s. u suk!

From TWBG Your Momma Aint Got No Business With Me Because I'm The Poppa Of The Rocka And You Best Be On Y

responding to a comment by the reverend dak
05.28.09 - 9:25 am


Theme rides are just that, Themes. Such as a Star Wars theme, or the Clown Ride. Both of those rides didn't do anything particularily "Star Wars" or "Clowny" other than everyone dressed up in theme. There is nothing wrong with that, and most rides are theme rides.

My "Art" has less to do with rides, and more to do with how I do things and get things done. I use the term Art as a blanket statement referring to my style. I don't do much "art" anymore, I don't paint, draw or anything. Occassionally I'll mock something up on Illustrator (I like to design my own spoke-cards.) Most of my art are conceptual pieces. The Salton Sea trips and the Discordian Ride exemplify this. The Salton Sea trips had themes, both Post-Apocalyptic-whatevers. Most people didn't go with the theme, but a LOT did. Slab City & it's environs provided a perfect setting for a mini Post-Apocalyptic TAZ. While the Discordian Ride was an exercise in structured chaos, which is something Discordians embrace. It didn't even have a theme, because how do you dress Discordian? You don't. Discordianism is defined by actions, and thought, etc.

I have a few more things planned, we'll see how they turn out. A lot of people wont come because a lot of people don't like my art.

Hail Eris.

the reverend dak
responding to a comment by SKIDMARCUS
05.28.09 - 9:40 am


@GermanguyfromtheEast, Thanks! I like my hair too. It's LONG. Some people think I'm cool, I'm cool with that. Some people don't like me at all, some are just intimidated, some just dislike me, I'm cool with that too.

Believe it or not, I like Heavy Metal! But not the typical "Metal" shit that people list to on the radio. I like to call the metal I listen to Epic Metal. Some people call it Power Metal. I believe Rhapsody (on Fire) calls their metal "Hollywood" metal. It's the same shit. I'm a big fan of Hammerfall, Manowar and Iron Maiden. Sometimes I call it Nerd Metal, or D&D Metal. Ed Guy and most of Tobias Sammett's stuff is awesome. I like Sonata Arctica too. I listen to Metalcast when I get a chance.

I wasn't at the first Heavy Metal Ride, at least I don't think so. I definitely was at the second one, but I bailed before the Bike Oven, I went straight to Ridge Way... in the rain.

BTW, I lived in Germany for 2 years. In Schwienfurt, near Bamburg & Wurzburg. The only German I remember goes something like this (sp?):

Nur eine schwein
trinken alin

the reverend dak
responding to a comment by GermanguyfromtheEast
05.28.09 - 9:51 am


I love your art!

responding to a comment by the reverend dak
05.28.09 - 9:53 am


@spiraldemon, Woah, I barely remember that ride. That was an unofficial 415G ride! Even Josef showed up!

the reverend dak
responding to a comment by spiraldemon
05.28.09 - 9:55 am


@chynna, I love that you appreciate my "art".

the reverend dak
responding to a comment by imachynna
05.28.09 - 10:01 am


ref Skidmarcus:-

YES!!! WHY DID THIS TAKE SO LONG???????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Most Ultimate of DAK's!!!!

ROTW Yah hoooooooo!!!!

05.28.09 - 11:07 am



05.28.09 - 12:20 pm


I like that stuff you put on. Santacon and trend way
I relate to your brother more. He seem really cool
I don't know, whatever.
Why do you drink Tecate and not Pabst Blue Ribbon?

05.28.09 - 12:34 pm


totally gave yourself away.

Joe Borfo
responding to a comment by hipster
05.28.09 - 12:43 pm


Yo Reverend Dak, tell me, how can I be a reverend too? What do ya think about Reverend Yusur Whon? Do have to declare some god to follow or something? Have to take a religious test or what?

responding to a comment by Joe Borfo
05.28.09 - 1:11 pm


Dak on Borfo's tandem, with my sis riding stoker, on the Discordian Ride. This was my sis's first MR ride, and she LOVED it. Dak also drove her out to Azusa this past Tuesday to buy her first bike, a very pretty 1983 Centurion Le Mans mixte. My sis TOTALLY wouldn't be riding if it wasn't for all of Dak's support and encouragement.

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Ms. Stephanie
responding to a comment by User1
05.28.09 - 1:56 pm



Click here for Ordination.

I also expect people to refer to me as Reverend Borfo too, you know?

Joe Borfo
responding to a comment by User1
05.28.09 - 5:15 pm


OK I downloaded it and filled it out. So now you guys can address me by Your Holiness or Reverend Yusur Whon.

responding to a comment by Joe Borfo
05.28.09 - 5:21 pm


@Limeyfly, Thanks!

@hipster, Thanks. I like the stuff I put on too, it's a lot of work. And I do my best. BTW, I didn't organize the Santacon, I just got the bikes involved. As for Trend Way, that's not nice. And if you're Truly a Hipster, you'd be trying you damn-est to get in. But we're not Trendy, look at me or Marino! We're far from it. But, of course you relate more to my brother, he's much cooler than me, and actually Hip - not in the bad way. It's OK not to know everything. Tecate is much better than PBR, PBR is good on tap, and awesome when it's FREE.

@User1, or should I say Reverend Yusur Whon. That's a very good Holy Name, I like it. Borfo has fed you dis-information - BAD BORFO. The official application can be found here. If you want a proper ceremony you can have one at the next ride. I'll bring my Holy Water, which was last blessed by Rev. Mook. Note, filling out that application and submitting it will not give you any ordination that's recognized by the State (You can't marry or perform first, middle or last rites for people - not legally.) But, recognize the fact that you may already be a POPE, and Popes only answer to Eris.

All Hail Discordia.

the reverend dak
05.28.09 - 6:34 pm


@Ms. Stephanie, it's my pleasure. She's family, and I want my family to all be on two wheels.

the reverend dak
responding to a comment by Ms. Stephanie
05.28.09 - 6:43 pm





Congratulations, Dak! You're inspirational.

05.28.09 - 8:04 pm


What best advice can you give someone who is trying to put on his first ride?

What would you like to see more of on the rides or out of riders on the rides?

Also, will the year 2012 bring about chaos or is it just another Y2k (big letdown, at least for other fellow discordians)

Will Santa Con add any new songs to their already awesome playlist?

When will the kind Reverend be holding mass again (Discordian Ride 2 or something of similar taste)?

Jazzy Phat Nastee
05.28.09 - 8:58 pm


OK I filled the form out, but I answered no to raping children. I hope that doesn't disqualify me. Anyways I don't care, I consider myself Reverend Yusur Whon. I even married my brother's cat with my neighbor's dog. Who else wants to get married? I think I'm going to specialize in gay marriages. They shouldn't be denied the same miseries straight people suffer.

responding to a comment by the reverend dak
05.28.09 - 9:07 pm


You brought more than a chuckle out of me with this beautiful piece of work. Thanks Allen!

Jazzy Phat Nastee
responding to a comment by User1
05.28.09 - 9:13 pm


@katiepoche, my favorite freckled coffee making irish insurrectionist. thank you for your exuberant words. It means a lot.

@Jazzy Phat Nastee, thanks for your questions. You actually made me use brains.

00001. I think I already mentioned it, but remember why it was FUN for you, and why you kept coming back. One thing to keep in mind, also, is that anyone who can ride a bike, skateboard or wheelchair should be able to complete the route. I guess I'm talking about 2nd Friday and other established nights. The exceptions of course are specialized to begin with, and should always be noted as: FAST/SLOW FAR/SHORT FLAT/HILLS etc. etc. Don't forget the spoke-cards.

00002. What I would like to see more of are regular folks on the rides, and families. With all the drinking and pot-smoking, I can see it "kind-of" an issue, but not really. If Ridazz were a bit more discreet with their substances, it would be completely a non-issue. But at the same time it would "hiding" reality, which I don't want either. So yeah, more folks on bikes - period.

00003. Interesting question, regarding 2012, because all those numbers equal to 5. I seriously doubt planes will fall from the sky, and I highly doubt that the four horsemen will decide to show up. I think we already can see what potential catastrophe can or will happen, it's headline news - Global Warming. It's possible it will be the end of the world AS WE KNOW IT. We can easily run out of fossil fuels by 2012, or at least it wont be affordable to the average human. Someone's fingers aren't going to snap on Dec 22, 2012, but I predict that whatever the state of the world we live in by 2050 will be earmarked by some significant events leading up to 2012 and around those years. It's happening now, this ipod generation and our addiction to the internet, etc. I think we, as Ridazz, are more suited than most, as a lot of us exercise sustainability and self-reliance all the time. The diligence we show when it comes to our rights as Cyclists is a really good sign for me. Basically, if anyone is going to survive, it will be us... and the guys with guns. I left the original thing I wrote because I was going OFF. But to answer your question, ... consult your pineal gland.

00004. Oh man. There are actually a ton more songs, but it's hard to fit them all in the book without making it really expensive. What I need to do is find Karaoke versions of the songs for a music trailer playlist, and we just sing them with the sick & twisted Santacon lyrics.

00005. I've never been interested in sequels. They make my eyes roll, "been there", "done that", etc. It shows a lack of creativity and it's simply LAZY. Looking up rides in MR is easy, nothing should ever be repeated, but it keeps happening! Do your research folks! I do have a couple things planned, but I'm not ready to announce them yet. That would be telling, and I like surprises.

the reverend dak
05.28.09 - 9:42 pm


WTF? I don't remember any of this...

responding to a comment by the reverend dak
05.29.09 - 3:48 am


@420LaHaRR, What don't you remember, exactly?


the reverend dak
responding to a comment by 420LaHaRR
05.29.09 - 11:46 am


If any body has craft skills, I think someone should make a really stupid ROTW hat and make Rev. Dak wear it to Choppercabras. *snicker*

Ms. Stephanie
responding to a comment by the reverend dak
05.29.09 - 1:51 pm


I have construction paper...
Craft skills, not so much.

responding to a comment by Ms. Stephanie
05.29.09 - 1:54 pm


I've got some craft skillz!

I also have a bunch of DIY foam pirate hats (that look like visors) and wands left over from Halloween... Why wands? I dunno! But I think the ROTW needs one!

Lez due et!

responding to a comment by danya
05.29.09 - 2:01 pm


Oooh YES!
Will you be at LACM? We can make something at the start. Then he could ridewear it all weekend! (Yes, I made that typo. I found it too funny to just erase.)

responding to a comment by Gizzard
05.29.09 - 2:10 pm


Doood! I live a mile away from the station... You can come by early and we can make one at my place... I have a scrapbooking case!!!

Or we can make it there... Just tell me what to brings!
I've got:
Zig zag scissors
gift tissue paper
Some ribbons

responding to a comment by danya
05.29.09 - 2:16 pm


Okay so I realized that I haven't posted on this thread until just now. So:
Congratulations! You definitely deserve this, I can't believe it hasn't happened before! I first really met Rev. Dak when he drove me to the Salton Sea, which says a lot about his awesomeness in and of itself.
A. What was your favorite moment of the most intense awesomeness? Describe.
B. If the above moment did not involve a bicycle (ride), please pick one now. Or pick a second favorite.
C. What's your opinion on LOLspeak?
D. Where did the rest of my list of questions for you go? It was here in my brain just a seond ago....

05.29.09 - 2:24 pm


That sounds phenomenal! Let's do it.
Rev. Dak- one more question:

Oh, and how bout those snazzy shirts you and Ms. Stephanie were rocking last LACM?

responding to a comment by Gizzard
05.29.09 - 2:28 pm


Aww geeez guys. It would be an HONOR to wear your ROTW hat, as long as I can ride in it, and it doesn't get me killed/shot/punched/kicked/jumped/etc.

I won't be at LACM, I have dinner tonight with the FAMILY, yeah, I have parents...

@danya, Thank you so much, I'm really glad to have met you. And it was my pleasure to give you a ride. As for your questions,

A. Wow, what a tough one. It's hard to say because there have been many favorite intense moments. The cheesiest would have to be my first Midnight Ridazz on a night I don't even remember. You guys have won me over and have taken over my life. The Cacaphony & SantaCon, even Burning Man didn't suck me in as readily or smoothly as Midnight Ridazz one 2nd Friday in some random forgotten month.

B. A term I use for intense awesomeness is getting my ASS KICKED. Whether it's a band, movie or some subculture like Midnight Ridazz, it's hard for me to answer this. I can talk about things from the past lives and from the FUTURE. There are just too many, I'm sorry to fail this. Skidmarcus standing on Borfo & my shoulders, while we stood on top of 50 gallon drums, to ring the bell at Parque de Mexico (aka Plaza de la Raza) was one moment. Borfo had a busted knee and broken ribs, I had a sprained wrist from the "Beer Saving Moment" in front of Pioneer Chicken. But we didn't care.

C. I'm not sure what LOLspeak is, I'll look it up... Oh, that shit... I've been using a variant of LOLspeak for years now. In fact I take credit for terms like IYM or DOTCOM. It's not exactly the same, but they're used the same. I think? I might be wrong. I never use it long replies, but I'm known to use it on TXT and chat. My Laptop is called LOLth.

D. You might want to check your pineal gland also, either that they may have been transmitted to Sirius. And may have come back, in the past. or the FUTURE.

the reverend dak
responding to a comment by danya
05.29.09 - 2:50 pm


it should be a hugging contest that should be figured out at choppercabras. yeah that's right a hugging contest between rotw and borfo roty(rida of the year for the rider of the year title.

responding to a comment by User1
05.30.09 - 4:45 pm


Well, hey. Bummer I missed your Rider of the Week week.

So...I hope you had a good Rider of the Week week, Rider of the Week.

And yes, it was about fucking time for you too.

06.5.09 - 1:46 pm



Joe Borfo
06.5.09 - 1:50 pm


This better not be a hoax.

responding to a comment by Joe Borfo
06.5.09 - 1:51 pm


Definitely one of the most deserving Ridazz to receive this honor. DAK is a 10

06.5.09 - 1:53 pm



Who's been here recently...