Thread started by User1 at 02.24.08 - 3:47 pm

THE NUT FLUFFER
Sarah BennettWed. February 06
(Or, how I’ve now met everyone I’ve ever needed to know)
http://thedistrictweekly.com/print/fine-print/2008/02/06/the-nut-fluffer/

I read somewhere that, in the grand artistic scheme of things, being a porn film fluffer is akin to being the guy that walks Ashton Kutcher’s dog. Actually, it’s more like sitting on a crowded LA bus the week before Christmas, waiting for it to take you to your dealer so you can forget—for a few hours—that you give guys blow jobs for a living.

It was the oversized pencil that first caught my eye.

The bus started east on Wilshire and I situated myself in an empty aisle seat near the back. Settling in, I noticed the guy on my left across the way doing a crossword puzzle with an enormous pencil. I mean, the thing had girth; the tip alone was bigger than the boxes it was supposed to fill in. It looked like a Honey I Shrunk the Kids prop and, clearly, did not belong on a bus.

But before I could fully process what the pasty man with the backwards hat and his pencil were doing here, he leaned across the aisle, shoved the disproportionate stick in my face and waved a can of Natural Ice to get my attention.

“Get that guy for me, will ya?� he said, motioning to the man staring out the window next to me. Hesitant, I poked the windbreaker-clad body next to me and, without saying a word, it turned around, reached over me and took the oversized pencil from his friend. He silently tucked it in his backpack and pulled out a golf pencil, which his friend accepted. A fucking golf pencil.

I was in awe. Crossword Guy nonchalantly went back to his puzzle. Windbreaker Guy pulled a fresh beer out of his bag. The bus passed Rodeo Drive. Everything smelled like Natty Ice. It was 11 a.m. the Monday before Christmas.

“Do you think your friend would get mad if I took a photo of him?� I asked Windbreaker Guy. He looked right at me, but kinda through me, his long greasy brown ringlets shooting out from under a “Los Angeles� souvenir hat. Even though he looked nearing middle age, I got the vibe that he still lived in his mom’s basement and got dressed up for anime conventions.

“You’ll have to ask him,� he said, more annoyed than concerned, “but we don’t like having our picture taken.� He hugged his backpack closer, protecting the pencils of assorted sizes inside.

Trying to ease the tension, I laughed and promised that I wasn’t a cop, just a passerby who wanted to walk off the bus with more than a mental image of his friend drinking cheap beer and pretending to do a crossword puzzle with a now-undersized pencil.

“Well, we don’t know you’re not a cop,� he said. I said I understood (even though I didn’t) and that I just wanted to take a photo because “coming across characters like this is one of the reasons why I love Los Ange . . . �

“There are no reasons to love Los Angeles,� he said. “This place is shit.�

“Yeah, sometimes,� I admitted. “But it’s home, right?�

Wrong. The West Coast was not where this man called (or ever wants to call) home. He started going off about how people in LA are all the same and how if he were home in New York, no one would care that he and his friend were trying to get through a 12-pack before they met up with their dealer. New York had personality and culture, not a bunch of nosey ass-holes, and if I ever wanted to experience anything, I needed to leave Los Angeles and the clutches of its soulless inhabitants, “ASAP.�

“If it weren’t for the porn industry I wouldn’t even be here,� he mumbled at the end of his outburst and my ears perked up.

After remaining silent during the five-minute tirade, the naively sex-obsessed 7th grader within me blurted out, “What are you, a nut fluffer?�—never expecting his answer would be “Yes.�

Not that I thought a nut fluffer’s life would be glamorous, but I also didn’t think one would be on a Metro Rapid bus admitting to the strange girl next to him that he was on his way to pick up this week’s Ecstasy supply.

When I started bombarding him with questions, he casually told me he hates his job so much that he spends every waking moment fucked up, or trying to get fucked up, so he won’t have to think about it.

“What’s your job description?�

“To keep the guys hard between takes.�

“Do you use your mouth?�

“If I have to.�

“What about the rest of the time?�

“Whatever it takes.�

“Why don’t you find a new job if you hate it so much?�

“Because I make more money than I know what to do with.�

Because he gets paid $5000 a week, he only has to work a few months at a time. This leaves the rest of the year to sit around one of his two homes (North Hollywood and Las Vegas) and do as many pills, lines and glue huffs as it takes to forget what paid for it all.

He evaded most of my important questions (“How did you get into fluffing nuts?� and “Any famous penises you’ve ‘helped out’?�) and refused to give me his contact information, saying it would be detrimental to his mental escape attempts if I kept questioning him about his job. But as he and his oblivious friend got off the bus at Alvarado, taking them those few steps closer to that week’s supply of Ecstasy, I swear I saw a smile.

reply

When I started bombarding him with questions, he casually told me he hates his job so much that he spends every waking moment fucked up, or trying to get fucked up, so he won’t have to think about it.

That fits the description of our Fluffer.



marino
02.24.08 - 4:00 pm

reply

Ummm... If he makes 5K a week why does he take the bus ???



marino
02.24.08 - 4:04 pm

reply

Fluffas are a thrifty breed. They rest during the hot summer day, and expend their energy during cooler summer nights.



User1
02.24.08 - 4:10 pm

reply

I don't think he'd be hanging around MacArthur park if he made 5k a week either.



kyber
02.24.08 - 4:16 pm

reply

True that. I used to live spitting distance from that park. I could go up to the roof of my building (The Park WIlshire) and see crack deals happen multiple times per hour once the sun went down.

If this guy was white, had that much money, and wasnt in a car or on a bike he would probably last less than an hour in that park.



bananaphone
02.24.08 - 4:20 pm

reply

There is no man in the porn business who makes 5K a week other than producers.



marino
02.24.08 - 4:21 pm

reply

Marino, I think you are discounting the gay porn industry, where, I understand, some of the stars make more than the biggest female stars in hetero porn. That said, I can't imagine a fluffer making that kind of scratch, in either case.



ideasculptor
02.24.08 - 5:39 pm

reply

are they accepting applications?



eddieboyinla
02.24.08 - 6:07 pm

reply

Sam, it looks like you are right. Eddie I see a career path for you.



marino
02.24.08 - 6:24 pm

reply

shut up

Will you please just SHUT UP

do www.midnightridazz.com a favor.

SHUT UP

Don't post this crap






sexy
02.24.08 - 6:43 pm

reply

Shame on you User1! You should ask for permission before you print spiraldemon's story!



speedybrian2000
02.24.08 - 9:33 pm

reply

LOL!!!

The King has spoken!!

From now on, nothing shall be posted that degrades or shows the Kingdom, The Kingdom of Fluffaville, in an unfavorable light. Any member posting an article that is deemed to be threatening to the Kingdom of Fluffaville, will be met with a beheading.

If there is any question on what is deemed to be proper postings, one shall only need to view the king's words on this most honorable forum.

Example of the King's postings deemed acceptable



User1
02.25.08 - 3:30 pm

reply

Big Gay Al is just upset that he can't get a boner without viagra, and that Megaphone Marino won't wear a wig for him.

ideasculptor has as many unique ideas as he has strands of hair on his bald head.

the three need a cyper group hug.



spiraldemon
02.25.08 - 3:36 pm

reply

5,000 a week was probably this fluffa's best week. Much like a waitress would respond if you asked her how much she makes a week. She'll more than likely quote her best week ever.

Waiting for a bus is not that much of a stretch ether. They might both have grown up in NYC and never had a car. Or they get around just fine with the public transportation and bumming rides.

Then again, they might have just been lying about everything!

Fluffa, do most of the fluffazz you know own car or do their bfs drive them around?



User1
02.25.08 - 4:12 pm

reply

Story of the greatest fluffa in the industry. I'm talking about Strokes!





User1
03.18.08 - 9:00 pm

reply

Rare behind the scenes glimpse at one of the porn industry's most unsung heroes - The Fluffer.






User1
03.18.08 - 9:03 pm

reply

MY FLUFFER:





Joe Borfo
03.19.08 - 2:42 am

reply

lmao, good one!!!! lol



eddieboyinla
03.19.08 - 3:30 am

reply

don't hate me because I'm the pinnacle of happiness,
and I'm better looking than you.



spiraldemon
03.19.08 - 9:42 am

reply

Bananaphone, I live in that building now! Now we don't get crack deals at night. We get apartment managers who are nightmares and yipping dogs all night long.



markedge
03.19.08 - 10:39 am

reply

my god, I have to come up with a new name for fluffernutters



la duderina
12.15.08 - 2:42 pm

reply

keep onn fluffin



Joe Borfo
01.6.17 - 10:50 am

reply