CRANK MOB Sucked Balls
Thread started by
Mohicano at 02.22.09 - 3:12 am
Kids should learn how to rid their fixies in the parking lot. Caturday is where it's at for real fun.
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Of course, by posting this, you are going the extra mile in garnering our respect and adoration. Bicycle riding as competitive social hierarchy...novel approach.
tern02.22.09 - 6:49 am
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I can hear the kid goin', "fixed gear, what!"
Mohicano02.22.09 - 8:06 am
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crankmob's not caturday, caturday's not crankmob. apples/oranges.
et02.22.09 - 8:36 am
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is it in the culture of CRANK MOB for corkers to act like drunk idiots and and provoke motorists?
sciencefriction02.22.09 - 10:45 am
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Corkers are almost always on their 1st or 2nd ride... I wouldn't worry about em.
BICYKILLER02.22.09 - 10:53 am
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shit talking a ride someone put a lot of effort into planning on a public forum where they could see it sounds like a really smart idea. good job. a for effort.
tinycities02.22.09 - 10:58 am
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Ok, CRANK MOB sucked balls. That comment is about a -5 on a scale of 1 to 10 in terms of helpfulness. Base on it, we all now know that you didn't like CRANK MOB. That's it. And guess what? Given the drama that always surrounds CRANK MOB, we all sort of assume there are people who weren't happy with it. So that's not really new information.
Be specific - can you describe how and why CRANK MOB sucked balls? That might actually be helpful. Otherwise your comment is thoughtless and unremarkable.
Alex Thompson02.22.09 - 11:14 am
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i thought the ride was well thought out, and that a lot of effort was put into it. from the the band at albertsons and the stop at the asia place and the kettlecorn, much props to the planners. giving everyone fun is really quite an effort.
i think i just got irked last night when i saw this corker taunting an already irritable driver, "what? what? what are you going to do?, what are you going to do? " laughing hysterically. but i guess i'm just being an old biker prude.
sciencefriction02.22.09 - 11:23 am
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I see a lot of that too with corkers. When I do, I just go up and have a talk with the corker, and suggest other ways to handle it. There's always gonna be new people, and some of them will do that, and so I just think of it as a continual process of acculturating new riders.
Alex Thompson02.22.09 - 11:30 am
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I love these CRANK Mob after-threads, reminds me of any one episode of "King of the Hill".
Westside=Arlen
bentstrider02.22.09 - 11:31 am
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i dont know why everyone started tripping out at the out of asia place, everyone left from there
theladiesman02.22.09 - 11:34 am
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With the corking comment, I was saying that most of the time it's new people that elect to cork and therefore are super excited and feel the power of the mob. They feel pumped that they're a part of it. It's a feeling everyone gets. By corking they feel responsible to protect the riders, and some do it by taunting drivers because they don't know how to handle conflict any other way. It's when people like Alex come talk to em, that they realize you can be cool and calm while corking.
BICYKILLER02.22.09 - 11:42 am
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i was not able to make it to the ride last night, though i really wanted to. instead, i had a dream this morning. in it, i was doing some important shit, like leading a field trip for my students or something, and crankmob went by. only it wasn't just bikes. first of all, everyone was basically a pirate. secondly, besides high bikes, low bikes, unicycles, and all that - about 1/2 the people had actual playground equipment on wheels. like the jungle gym monkey bar things, some with steering wheels. argh! what does it mean?
amy02.22.09 - 11:57 am
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+1
I had to diffuse so many situations with the kiddies antagonizing motorists and cops that were ready to arrest them.
Kids don't touch anyone's car! Don't and when a car is obviously stuck in an eddie of CMers let them through so the party can roll unabated.
Furthermore, hold your fucking line. That means ride in a straight line! I don't care how drunk you are, don't ride if you can't ride straight.
Ok, one last thing. Just because it's dark out and it's night time that doesn't mean you can close your eyes.
Look where you are going, it's your life and the person you could collide with. Treat the road like a freeway, pass on the left, fastla e left only. Don't stop or you'll get rear ended and start a pileup and call shit out. Turns, debris, slowing, rolling, etc.
And kids get a hand break or demonstrate efficient stopping skills by stomping on your rear when rolling downhill.
Mohicano02.22.09 - 11:58 am
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crankmob went by. only it wasn't just bikes. first of all, everyone was basically a pirate. secondly, besides high bikes, low bikes, unicycles, and all that - about 1/2 the people had actual playground equipment on wheels. like the jungle gym monkey bar things, some with steering wheels. argh! what does it mean?
I think that means that we all better fire up and make it out next month, or we'll be hunted down like deer!!!
bentstrider02.22.09 - 12:01 pm
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why is it that people always come talk shit about crank mob the next day, yet you will see them at next months crank mob? if you dont like the ride, dont go! i havent been on crank mob since november because of all the crashes. im not gonna come on MR and say how much crank mob sucked balls. im just not gonna go. simple as that. i know richie and alex put a lot of work into crank mob. so it would be rude of me to come here and put down their ride.
funanu02.22.09 - 12:03 pm
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Oh yeah, cork with style. Entertain the drivers, talk to them, inform them how long it will be, and remind them every time a new school rolls by. It is also a perfect opportunty to. Spread bike awareness.
If a car is stuck, call it out stop the mob and lead it out. Leadership skills are needed to execute this. AT knows.
Mohicano02.22.09 - 12:03 pm
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Ok first of all, I'm still at crank mob, and I'm still having a blast. All of you who are the ball lickers complaining about this ride should lick my balls, you guys can't handle the mob. Start dancing at the fucking ride, for fucks sake!
The issue with corkers and aggression towards motorists is a huge problem. I saw would be docile motorists turn aggro real fast just because some fuckwads decided to start banging on the hood / window. Fuuuuuck that!
Let the cars pass! Take your bullshit aggression towards motorists, cram it up your assholes and lick my balls.
Oh yes and by the way, REPOST!
jonnyboy02.22.09 - 12:05 pm
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i think jonnyboy wants his balls licked.
funanu02.22.09 - 12:07 pm
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I have some tips on how to affect the attitude of others while on a ride:
It's all about waving at the cars, judging the gaps and letting some cars pass, being polite by saying, "Thanks for waiting!", "Almost done!", or even, "Sorry!" can really help the group out. A display of thumbs up, fist pumps, w00ts, even if the drivers look angry seems to catch them off guard or even change their attitudes. Even when they honk angrily, respond to them as if they are honking in support and diffuse it. And if you can sense a driver starting to get aggravated, or if it's a cop about to strike, try using , "It's cool! We're leaving!" - Anything else just isn't going to help your situation.
And if you deny what I say, then you are a chump just looking for trouble. Go ahead and test my theory. It always seems to help whenever I'm on rides. I feel more alert and positive weather it really affects others or not.
i.y.m.
dot com
Joe Borfo02.22.09 - 12:12 pm
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On the money johnny. BTW your costume was inflamitory.
Mohicano02.22.09 - 12:13 pm
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its really funny watching andrew try to save face.
tinycities02.22.09 - 12:22 pm
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Mr. Cities,
I'm a man of reason.
Fuck yo' couch!
Mohicano02.22.09 - 12:28 pm
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Miss Cities to you.
And am i supposed to even understand what that means?
tinycities02.22.09 - 12:31 pm
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Ah, French speaker eh?
CONCHEZ DU AMOR!
ephemerae02.22.09 - 12:39 pm
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1, 2, 3 stop hating
meow02.22.09 - 12:48 pm
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I think it's important to remember to make you voice heard on the spot, on the ride, to the person who you feel is causing problems. The internet is a good place to scream, but it doesn't leave you with that sexy gravelly voice afterward. Talking to people, and not just admonishing them, will have a much more lasting effect on their behavior than changing your facebook status to "CRANK MOB sucks I hate it stupid thieves."
It was a good ride. Top 1/3 of CRANK MOBs, and that's saying a lot.
Alex Thompson02.22.09 - 12:50 pm
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I get the last word.
tern02.22.09 - 12:56 pm
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I'm not going to name names, but we've got several cats on this particular branch of this fine division.
I say let them claws rip'n'shred when you see the wrongs being churned out.
Don't be afraid, grow a pair and make the warrantless shitheads kiss dirt!!!!
bentstrider02.22.09 - 1:12 pm
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@bicykiller
totally agree with you on the corking thing.
@alex
i srsly think you should state out the rules BEFORE the ride starts. not on the forum.
my group and i had to call out so many fucking idiots, young or old.
from the shit they were doing, we as cyclists look like a collective group of assholes hell bent on fucking the city up.
us cyclists who ride everyday for one reason or another are getting the fucking shaft bc some asshole who comes out for a ride once a month is going around kicking mirrors off.
and what happened, when i called the fucker out? he told me to fuck off and sped off.
i mean what the fuck dude.
last night, i saw at least 8 different incidences where some fucker was kicking a car bumper or snapping back mirrors, small ass kids talking about how drunk they were (no not like 18 or 19, more like 14), all types of fucked up shit. and when i call fuckers out, NOBODY ELSE backs me up.
i srsly think before everyride, just shout out with a megaphone, the rules and that if you fuck up, you will bounced out, and tell fools to not buy minors alcohol.
srsly, whos the fucking idiot giving a 13 yr old beer?
KiMS102.22.09 - 1:16 pm
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STEAL EVERYTHING IT.
STOLEN PRODUCTS TASTE MUCH BETTER.
STEAL FROM BIG STORES, NOT YOUR NEIGHBOR.
Graham02.22.09 - 1:19 pm
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"when i call fuckers out, NOBODY ELSE backs me up. "
Don't worry, if I had seen you last night, I would have backed you up. I was calling people out too. Maybe if we can ride together next time, I'll call out the guys and you call out the girls that way they don't take it all up the ass. Although some of them should.
imachynna02.22.09 - 1:24 pm
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STEAL HARDER, FASTER, AND STRONGER.
Graham02.22.09 - 1:24 pm
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this is like the fifteen-thousandth time we have had this discussion.
I get the last word?
tern02.22.09 - 1:25 pm
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@graham,
were you there last night?
@chynna
ah! you were there and i didnt even say hi. i was too busy restraining myself from strangling other people.
i think as long as the rules are stated at the beginning of the ride via megaphone and people know that you will be called out for stupid shit, it hink it will fix a lot of things.
especially for things involving cars. some asshole in a blue sweater was gonig around kicking in doors OF MOVING VEHICLES. he stopped after i called him out but i srsly think that he thought it was an okay thing to do.
threaten people at the beginning of the ride that they will be shunned the fuck out of and i think theyll straighten the fuck up.
and please, 13 yr olds can't hold their booze which equals, they cant ride their bike, which equals crashes. cut this shit out.
KiMS102.22.09 - 1:34 pm
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@rbi
dude, whered u find that pic. that shit is hilarious.
KiMS102.22.09 - 1:36 pm
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@KIMS the ride rules are on every single ride posting. We've gotten kicked out from the start prematurely the past 2 crank mobs or we would be announcing.
richtotheie02.22.09 - 1:37 pm
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Call out people if you want. Sometimes that works. If Richie calls someone out, it works great, because everyone knows who he is, and they feel chastised and ostracized.
But, if you're not universally known, aggressively calling someone out isn't as likely to work. They'll think, "who the fuck is this guy?" And they'll tell you to fuck off like that young man did.
Reasoning with people, discussing the issue with them, is far more likely to have a lasting impact. If you have the time and context to talk to someone more as an equal, I advocate doing that. It just works better.
And you know, sometimes when you intervene, people tell you to fuck off. It just goes with the territory. Don't take it personally, and realize that response is a defensive reaction, so there's a reasonably good chance that you got through, and they'll feel guilty later.
Positivity people, positivity motivates. It's easier to pull than push.
Alex Thompson02.22.09 - 1:37 pm
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I had no desire to go to crash mob.
Graham02.22.09 - 1:37 pm
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But I did have the burning desire to STEAL ALL.
Graham02.22.09 - 1:39 pm
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Well, I always see richie and AT getting on top of those newsstands when announcing the rules prior to takeoff.
I'm elevating myself next time I'm down there, and y'all should to.
bentstrider02.22.09 - 1:41 pm
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@ richie and alex
yes, the rules are posted online but at the same time, i dont think anyone really bothers to fully go through it. especially the younger kids.
i think if you announce it via megaphone and really tell people that it's not cool to ding up cars and what not, it should be fine.
the reason i say this is bc when i was on my first ride years ago, i was just the same. all about the hype and yeah dude, fuck cars, etc.
I thought it would be cool to punch a car and i did. one of the older riders told me that its not the way to go about things and i stopped doing stupid things.
and for the record,
it was a cool ride except for the few idiot kids.
it was a great route and still had lots of fun.
kudos for that band setting up in the parking lot!
KiMS102.22.09 - 1:49 pm
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re: corkers.
i love corking. love interacting with the drivers , getting to the end of the line and then racing to the head of the pack and doing it again.
re: stupid kids.
where is elite core!
shouldn't they be stepping in with their 'members only' jacket.
i call people out...don't know how that works with my dorky helmet and POS bike.
aksendz02.22.09 - 2:06 pm
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My system was already a good identifier, moreso than my TAC get-up.
Looks like it's time to formulate a tall-bike with swingin' speakers!!!
bentstrider02.22.09 - 2:15 pm
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EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP CRANK MOB WAS EPIC U GUYS R WACK. NEXT TIME DONT COME WE DONT WANT U ANYWAY
-BROOKE ELLIS
bikebrooke02.22.09 - 2:27 pm
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hey...are you channeling eddie?
last word.
tern02.22.09 - 2:31 pm
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brooke,
are you the girl on the cruiser that immediately crashed her bike 20 feet away from the start as she was chanting "crank mob" ?
remember, when you use a coaster brake, you must have ur feet on the pedals so you can slow down. it doesnt work when ur hauling ass and ur dragging ur dainty toes on the ground.
if that wasnt you, then disregard. still an amazingly funny sight if you saw it.
-MIKE KIM FROM TNS!
KiMS102.22.09 - 2:38 pm
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nope im just me, just saying what i think, and this topic was pointlesssssssss
CRANK MOB FOR LYFE
fuck haters and debaters
bikebrooke02.22.09 - 2:41 pm
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TO MIKE KIM:
NO THAT WASNT ME ASSHOLE
I HAVE A CRUISER, BUT I RIDE A ROADBIKE NOW
THANKS FOR THE TIP, WHENS THE LAST TIME U HAD SEX WITH A REAL GIRL?
bikebrooke02.22.09 - 2:43 pm
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"crank mob for lyfe" ?
yeah wait till someone causes you to crash bc theyre too drunk. wait till you get ur purse/bag jacked. wait till ur hype runs out. i guarantee that this is all hype to you and ur gonna be out of here after the next few months.
come talk to me after you give this a few years. then you'll understand.
KiMS102.22.09 - 2:45 pm
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"WHENS THE LAST TIME U HAD SEX WITH A REAL GIRL?"
idk, a few days ago with the significant other?
why does this matter?
are you kidding me right now?
KiMS102.22.09 - 2:46 pm
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mr kim, you so crazy.
tern02.22.09 - 2:47 pm
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WHOA DUDEZ CRASH MOB FOR "LYFE".
DONT U YOU GET IT U FUKIN HATERZ!?
loololololololol
THE INTERNETTE!
Graham02.22.09 - 2:48 pm
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hahahahhahahhahahaha
KiMS102.22.09 - 2:49 pm
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Mike Kim, when was the last time you had oral copulation with a real living animal? This is a relevant question, seriously.
Graham02.22.09 - 2:49 pm
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everyone go to the lunch thread and post ur favorite tofu recipe.
or just post something you ate for lunch today.
KiMS102.22.09 - 2:49 pm
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graham,
this is totally relevant.
just so i can prove it to the cycling community that i occasionally get blowjobs, im gonna try to talk my girlfriend into me taking a picture of said blowjob.
only so i can prove to graham and brooke who doesnt know how to stop her bike that i actually do get laid.
this way, crank mob wont be so out of control.
the reason crank mob was so lame was bc my girlfriend is on the rag and that upset the balance of the universe which caused assholes to be assholes and have brooke crash the fuck out of her bike.
KiMS102.22.09 - 2:54 pm
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Well tyler, at least we could both agree on one thing....
we're both out of work!!!!
You're just in a more, desirable area to weather the storm, to me anyway.
Don't worry, beers(or whatever you prefer) next time my ass is down there.
And CM'rs, keep on Mobbin'!!!!
bentstrider02.22.09 - 2:56 pm
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http://www.adultswim.com/video/?episodeID=8a25c39217632d58011764a1702c0072
THE INNERNETTE
Graham02.22.09 - 2:57 pm
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@lee
did you make the wolfpack video on the mr front page?
the one with the m83 song.
dude, that shit is sooooooooooo sick.
i srsly watch taht before i go ride. gets me all hyped up and shit.
its like a 2009 version of watching a skate video before going out!
KiMS102.22.09 - 2:58 pm
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MAYBE JUST MAYBE I DONT TAKE LIFE AS SERIOUSLY AS U ARROGANT FUCKS, AND IM TELLING U THE TRUTH AS I SEE IT
GRAHAM:
U R FUCKIN RETARDED GET THE STICK OUT OF UR ASS. BTW, GIRLS LOOOOVE THE DEAD LOOK AND THE PONYTAIL, SO KEEP ROCKIN IT AND MAYBE ULL GET UR PENCIL DICK SUCKED SOON
TALK TO U GUYS NEVER
FUCK U ALLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
bikebrooke02.22.09 - 3:02 pm
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Dear Mr. CRANK MOB sucked balls,
Whose balls did CRANK MOB suck last night?
Were they your balls? If so, did you like it?
Did CRANK MOB suck someone else's balls? If so, are you jealous?
CRANK MOB can suck my balls anytime she likes. I heard she's good at it.
kryxtanicole02.22.09 - 3:06 pm
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MIKE...
Y DON'T YOU GO SEXY A REAL GIRL INSTEAD OF JACKING OFF TO MY BIKE VIDEOS!!!!
SRSLY. OMG. LOLZ.
BUT IM DONE TALKING TO YOU FUCK YOU ALLLLLLZZZZ!
BICYKILLER02.22.09 - 3:07 pm
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i wouldn't mind if crank mob sucked my balls either
theladiesman02.22.09 - 3:08 pm
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+1 Krista
I'd love for C.R.A.N.K. Mob to suck my balls as well.
danya02.22.09 - 3:09 pm
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you dont take life as srsly as we do?
what? is this a cry for help? are you going to take a bunch of mommy's perscription drugs and try to off urself?
always remember!
anti anxiety meds + booze wont kill you! just give you a splitting headache and short term amnesia.
on a serious note.
brooke dont kill urself.
ill immediately post a pic of my gf sucking my dick if that makes you feel better.
and we're not arrogant, we've just people crash into us way too many times
KiMS102.22.09 - 3:10 pm
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Hello,
I just started using the Innernette. I heard that if you use all caps it gives you the feeling as if your yelling, is this true?
Dear Innernette.
Things are not going as planned. Times are hard, I've never had to write in all caps this much before. When will people start understanding me for who I am? I just wanna get my point across, but for some reason everyone thinks its a joke. Am I even a real person?
Graham02.22.09 - 3:12 pm
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I tried to get the weed trimmer started today. Seems that the fuel line is blocked. It runs, briefly, when I spray cleaner on the carb. So, I'm gonna take it out and blow it clean with a bike pump. But, I think I'll do that tomorrow.
What else...I just finished the book, Old School, by Tobais Wolff....Drop City by J.M. Coetzee and collection of stories (which I have already read) by John Updike, since he recently died. I've been reading a lot at night lately. It's creeping into my sleep time.
I am going to have to make a decision on whether to buy a car or a motorcycle, very soon. I will need one of the two.
My dog's girlfriend just had puppies.
Ummm...I just made some fresh guacamole.
tern02.22.09 - 3:12 pm
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this thread is great
albeit pointless
steph02.22.09 - 3:13 pm
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Eddieboy was at the ride last night which was awesome to see.
I wonder what he'd think about people copying his trademark ALL CAPS style? This thread is getting entertaining.
sciencefriction02.22.09 - 3:17 pm
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Tern, i had to read that tobias wolff book for my freshman year seminar a couple years ago, it was pretty good. the author came in and spoke about it to the 3000 freshman afterwards haha. i think the reason it was pretty decent was that the school mailed me the copy and didnt charge me for it. [ yet again they did charge me 30,000 in tuiton... ]
and mike kim, you never fail to make me laugh.
tinycities02.22.09 - 3:20 pm
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eddieboy cursed me out in spanish because i wouldnt take a swig of the bacardi :( ahahaha
theladiesman02.22.09 - 3:21 pm
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@tern
I wish I had time for non-school reading, but with all the riding, it's hard enough to keep up with that. :[ Sounds like you're reading some quality stuff though.
Why would you need a car or motorcycle? I trust that you really do need one, so I'd recommend a car. I don't trust a vehicle with the low protection of a bicycle that goes so much faster than the human body can make it go.
ZOMG PUPPIES!!! Post pictures please? PUPPIES ARE SO CUTE!
And guacamole, yummm.
danya02.22.09 - 3:21 pm
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ahhhh! Did I say Drop City by J.M. Coetzee....oops
I should have said Drop City by T.C. Boyle. I guess I got them confused because of the two initials + plus last name similarity.
I never bought rain gear this year. I should have. Maybe I still should. I've been riding wet.
The raccoon behind my house, who lives in an old woodpecker hole in a dead palm tree, got into a fight with a bobcat the other day. He high-tailed it into the water, pretty quickly. It seems like he's doing alright today. I watched him for a while through binoculars. And, the herons..three pairs...are nesting at the top of an enormous tree behind the house.
I watched Gran Tourismo last weekend. I liked it. I saw The Wrestler night before last...and I guess the jury is still out on that one. Sometimes, I'd rather not immerse myself in pain and turmoil when watching a movie in my free time. Although I did like Magnolia...so, I guess it just matters what mood I'm in.
Hmmm...what else...
tern02.22.09 - 3:22 pm
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Magnolia is an amazing film. Tern, please don't get a motorcycle.
Graham02.22.09 - 3:23 pm
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gran torino taught me tons of asian racial slurs.
zipperhead?
wtf?!
KiMS102.22.09 - 3:26 pm
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Graham--okay...maybe not. We'll see.
Dayna. Yeah...I'll post some pictures when I get over there to see the puppies. They still look like tiny aliens, I would imagine. I always say I'm going to send pictures...and I rarely do. I need to get with the program.
Tiny Cities. Ha! Free book. Yeah, seems like a great book for a freshman class at a private school. I liked it. I really like Drop City....it is so, well, Slab City...Really.
tern02.22.09 - 3:29 pm
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alex you still owe me a dancing rematch from lax... i will serve that ass!!!
i've been watching chris brown dance videos on youtube all day, im ready son!
theladiesman02.22.09 - 3:32 pm
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crank mob is cool for the most part. theres always gonna be lame people and crashes. BUT one thing that has to go is the chanting thing. "when i say crank, you say mob! crank mob, crank mob, crank mob!"
but this is the internet and opinions dont matter.
btw, graham, i love your ponytail. keepin it real and shit.
KiMS102.22.09 - 3:34 pm
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MIke...yeah there are racial slurs in that movie. I'm not trying to say that I subscribe to those slurs when I say that I like the movie. I mean, it's about a bigoted old man, who learns to love those he discriminated against. So, I guess the racial slurs are okay to be included in the context of the film. But, I'm not trying to be an advocate for the film or it's writers, actors, producers...so I will just say: I hear what you are saying.
tern02.22.09 - 3:34 pm
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Man, all this buggin' and shit.
I thought this was supposed to be a good night, but now everyone's acting like it's that time of the month again.
I suggest y'all grab cases of fine ale and some fried chicken, then have a nice picnic on the fuckin' beach!!!
Now, I'm going to get back to re-lacing my old sling-shot!!
bentstrider02.22.09 - 3:39 pm
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tern,
i have now stamped you as a racist bigot and you better watch what ur saying.
if you're gonna call me a nip, you better love me too.
but whatever, if you don't me, thats cool too.
im not one to say anything.
i dont like jewish people.
:O
im just kidding.
hi sheli :)
KiMS102.22.09 - 3:49 pm
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god you guys dont even wanna know where the phrase zipper head originates from
robin swabin02.22.09 - 3:54 pm
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Hey I Cork all the time keeps fools like you safe okay if riders that do these rides all the time dont cork you have a greater chance at corking only have almost been hit once last night to make sure that other riders were not getting hit. So change what you think about corkers okay.
louisbianchirider02.22.09 - 4:07 pm
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zipperhead
A derogatory term used in reference to people of Asian descent.
It is said to have been coined during the Korean war by frontline troops whom had run over enemy troops in jeeps.
The soldiers claimed that the tire tracks from the jeeps left a pattern resembling that of a closed zipper along the corpse.
ruinedbyidiots02.22.09 - 4:10 pm
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umm soo yeah...
levi won.
fuckit.
but frank won the stage.
+1 for saxo
bikes are for racing
:-p.
_iJunes02.22.09 - 4:15 pm
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The soldiers claimed that the tire tracks from the jeeps left a pattern resembling that of a closed zipper along the corpse.
But, wouldn't a non-Asian look the same way when run over by a Jeep as well??
bentstrider02.22.09 - 4:19 pm
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last night's C.R.A.N.K. MOB was awesome. the stops. the bands. the music. the fact that we rode wayyy more miles.
was really saddens me about this thread is the ignorance that by making this thread, you think miraculously C.R.A.N.K. MOB is going to change over night.
Firstly, C.R.A.N.K. MOB has changed, but not over night, it has evolved from it's baby stages to this, as i like to call it, its adolescent phase.
And it's the biggest ride in LA. It is. so instead of masturbating on here with your hatred, why don't you become a more affective part of this community you say you love and are a part of and be a voice. be the change you want to see.
Secondly, C.R.A.N.K. MOB is only going to get bigger by the time summer rolls around. so get off your high horse, step off your soapbox and realize that if anything is going to "change" or get better or evolve - it starts with you.
Thanks.
bondink02.22.09 - 4:29 pm
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The organized parts of the ride were amazing, but the constant drunks swerving into other people, the guy throwing bottles at cars, the corkers that give cars the finger and the huge number of easily avoidable crashes was not.
stillline02.22.09 - 4:35 pm
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Julia thinks it's funny that the people who are aware of proper bike conduct are all over the threads but the people who never ride other than on crank mob don't even know about Midnightriddazz. com- which happen to be the ones who crash, drink and steal endlessly, ruthlessly, and carelessly. so moral of the story here, is maybe we should put some mega phones into use AT Crank Mob and inform our fellow riders with carefully chosen, none-aggressive words about the safety of teh pack and how to maintain it, instead of writing threads about how crank mob sucks.
meow02.22.09 - 4:52 pm
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the mob looked amazing, although i was not able to ride with you all(bike kart huge facking fail!) but i did see a bunch of immature people. I wanted to introduce my girl to bike culture, but i think she got the wrong idea LMFAO!!!...and i quote "mike is this what you do when u ride your bike...?" it was beautiful to see all the new faces, the children enjoying themselves, and to see alex and richie dressed up like idiots. On the way home i saw (2) groups babysitting drunkies...and vomit spewed all over the pavement, not nice. We who commute on these roads daily and have to deal with the aftermath of Crank Mob should be the ones talking to the firestarters. Not just a few "known" people. If politely grabbed one of these stray cubs by the neck and infused some light into them they would most def learn...
My 2 cents...(please deposit in an interest bearing account)
pretti*ugli02.22.09 - 5:00 pm
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I'm going to go ahead and assume based off of conversations i have heard while riding--including "man this is a work out", "oh my god i lost my friend about a block back, am i ever going to find him again?", "wow crank mob is like totally a non conformist party ride, i'm going to get so drunk that i forget how to ride a bike at the next stop", etc...-- that about half or maybe more of the riders on crank mob only ride on crank mob and maybe to 7-11 if it's within 3 blocks away from their house. THEREFORE, like i said before, they should be informed at the ride, multiple times, with amplified sound (megaphone!!! my favorite culture!!), what to do to keep everything safety first. i love crank mob, and if we didn't have some idiots than i wouldn't be able to think i am more responsible, a better rider, and more informed than a lot of other people, BUT the word of not looking behind you before you turn, swerving, and stealing needs to spread. ASAP. thank you goodbye
meow02.22.09 - 5:05 pm
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JULIA, I CAN'T HEAR YOU. YOU DON'T HAVE A MEGAPHONE.
Joe Borfo02.22.09 - 5:21 pm
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Hey...I thought this thread was supposed to be about the books I have just read, the movies I have recently seen, the animals around me, and my decision on whether or not to buy a car or a motorcycle.
tern02.22.09 - 5:26 pm
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If I get a motorcycle, I like this one:
tern02.22.09 - 5:27 pm
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or maybe this one:
tern02.22.09 - 5:28 pm
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i lust HAHAHAHAHAED OUT LOUD BORFO AHHAHADH YES!
meow02.22.09 - 5:30 pm
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lust- just... same thing
meow02.22.09 - 5:31 pm
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I think Crank mob was pretty chill, although there were a couple things that were not chill, 1) first I stopped to help somone with a flat and lost the mob, by the time I found them they were at the alberstons and the cops were already breaking it up, I didnt even get to see the band that everyone is talking about, second, the 7-11 stop off of barrington and gateway, some prick through a good size water bottle into the crowed and hit someone in the neck, that shit was not cool, that can actually hurt someone is they get hit in the right place, that person deserves to a have a U-Lock taken to his face.
and last but not lease, when the cops come to move us along, DONT start talking shit, of course everyone hates them, you dont have to show off and talk shit to em, the more friendly we are to them, the more chill they'll be with us, there just doin there job, it sucks, but its not like they ruin the night, think of them as sheep hurders, they come, we move to another spot, they come again, we move again, either way we win, we just need to get some scout rides and actually find places where we wont get botherd, 7-11's are cool and funny to see and all, but its too out int the open, Best buy, that was a good one.
besides that I had a good time, keep it up
Trambo.4502.22.09 - 5:31 pm
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maybe something like this
tern02.22.09 - 5:37 pm
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...or this
How much would one of these cost, used? Hmmm.
tern02.22.09 - 5:38 pm
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But, more than likely, I will end up with something boring like this.
tern02.22.09 - 5:42 pm
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KiMS1 thinks I'm a racist because I like Gran Tourino, the movie. Maybe I should buy a Gran Tourino. I don't think I will buy one, because I don't actually like the car, Gran Torino....just the movie.
tern02.22.09 - 5:44 pm
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Hey Mike Kim. I like the movie, The Color Purple, too.
tern02.22.09 - 5:45 pm
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all molester vans bruh...that last car looks like some ceo type shit...i say u get a murcielago, rock an iced out chain, and have video hoes drag race on bicycles for the passenger seat in your car. o and u gotta pour exspensive champagne on the winner
pretti*ugli02.22.09 - 5:48 pm
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okay, I'll keep that option open...I'll need to give it some thought, though. Thanks.
tern02.22.09 - 5:50 pm
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the second one is a delivery van, so its going to cost more than your usual van
theladiesman02.22.09 - 6:01 pm
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All in all, the only thing that really sucked was that I haven't been able to rock out my tunes on the Westside for the longest time.
bentstrider02.22.09 - 6:14 pm
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the westside doesn't take kindly to country music (angry face)
theladiesman02.22.09 - 6:19 pm
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well then why do they call it country and western? Okay...I am sleepy. Bedtime here in the Atlantic. Goodnight.
tern02.22.09 - 6:22 pm
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It's always the same with Crank Mob: stupid amounts of awesome and truly awesome amounts of stupid.
theroyalacademy02.22.09 - 6:25 pm
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I didn't read all the other posts, so maybe this is repetitive, but it was serious amateur hour last night at Crank mob. Probably no coincidence high school age riders were pushing about 80% of the crowd.
I saw idiots wiping out all over the place. Fixie virgins who had apparently not been down any hills before. I saw three or four people just fall over once they started going down the hill after Wilshire and a couple riders actually ran them over because there was no time to react. Fucking dangerous ride with all the idiots out there. Learn to ride your fixies! WTF.
I saw a corker being an idiot, corking the OTHER side of Santa Monica blvd, which was fucking pointless and was just pissing off drivers for no reason.
0gravity02.22.09 - 6:35 pm
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so with all the stupid shit that went down, how many of you complainers are going to go again next month?
ruinedbyidiots02.22.09 - 6:40 pm
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"Hey I Cork all the time keeps fools like you safe okay if riders that do these rides all the time dont cork you have a greater chance at corking only have almost been hit once last night to make sure that other riders were not getting hit. So change what you think about corkers okay."
don't cork for me, it causes more trouble.
everyone talks shit about how cyclists are treated like, well, cyclists. they cry and whine about vehicular rights, yada yada yada.
what kind of vehicle blocks traffic, what kind of vehicle cuts three lanes in an instant, what kind of vehicle blows traffic lights, what kind of vehicle litters the streets with beer cans?
whats for dinner?
KiMS102.22.09 - 6:57 pm
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@rbi
eastside rides from now on.
the ride with no name. so bummed i missed out that on friday.
KiMS102.22.09 - 6:59 pm
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I still wonder how the fixed-gear craze is catching on so well down there with all the youngsters?
Up here in Gulag 760, it's been the same forever as far as the high-school to college-age crowd goes.
It's all about getting something with a motor, then hanging out at the club.
bentstrider02.22.09 - 7:05 pm
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i love asserting my rights to the road by drinking in a parking lot. oh man! at the ride with no name i had one beer. it was great.
ruinedbyidiots02.22.09 - 7:06 pm
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fixed bikes catch on well with the youngsters that suck at skateboarding and bmx riding.
KiMS102.22.09 - 7:07 pm
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Never thought about it that way, interesting point considering that I sucked at both of those.
But, I decided on the path of being the observer on the well-equipped, MTB.
bentstrider02.22.09 - 7:09 pm
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i thought you were trying to build a conversion. and a tall bike.
ruinedbyidiots02.22.09 - 7:10 pm
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speaking of tallbikes.
does alex ride that thing in from noho?
KiMS102.22.09 - 7:12 pm
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and back to noho since the redline doesnt run past midnight.
ruinedbyidiots02.22.09 - 7:14 pm
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are the tren way tags from last years funderstorm show at the best buy roof still there? what about the air conditioner that we destroyed? being a punk is so F.U.N, right?
ruinedbyidiots02.22.09 - 7:16 pm
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Yeah, except since I have no welding equipment, I'm going with these plans I got off of that "instructables" website.
It involves flipping the frame, 2x4's, hose clamps and twine.
The conversion, I'm having ass-luck finding any useful frames.
I'm running into shit, MTB frames everywhere I try to look.
For the most part, these will pretty much be used for when I start making trips and, eventually, moving myself away from this dreary place.
bentstrider02.22.09 - 7:18 pm
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"what about the air conditioner that we destroyed? being a punk is so F.U.N, right?"
What a bunch of idiots!
-1 for destroying an air conditioner at a place we go
-1 for talking about on the forum
-1 for law enforcement reading this and being on our ass even more.
Think about it.
X-Large02.22.09 - 7:34 pm
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the law's gonna be on our ass for a lot of things. not just bc of a destroyed AC unit.
KiMS102.22.09 - 7:42 pm
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There is this vegan ham you can get frozen at most Asian markets. It is So good on a sandwich. I comes in a frozen cylindrical plastic wrapping. I guess they weigh about three lbs.
I have found that you can make some really good pozole with this. I mean it isn't exactly the same as regular pozole, but I think I like it better. I just use vegetable shortening when browning the ground New Mexico Red Chiles.
so you've go N.M. red chiles-- a bunch of em toast in oven (don't burn)
grind in coffee grinder. Brown ground chiles with veg shortening, Add flower...brown to make a rue. Fill up the pot with water. Simmer for a long time. Add garlic, comino (cumin), sea salt. After a long time, add pozole...(or hominy, in a pinch), and add the vegan ham cut into small pieces.
Put some in a bowl, top with lime. Make sure to have some corn tortillas hot. mmmm.
okay.
tern02.22.09 - 7:49 pm
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can you use green chiles?
what?
what the fuck?
what a bigot.
sheesh...
KiMS102.22.09 - 7:52 pm
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What else should we "Give" (see photo above) them, so that we can be targeted even more?
Maybe a nice "arson fire" on an office building
or maybe we all can just shoot our guns in the air at start of CM,
wouldn't that be nice. Let me know when you are having a ride and I will be happy to come down and destroy something in your neighborhood that will bring the police down on you even more.
Why should I even care?
Oh wait, I love Crank Mob, that's why.
Come on, at least keep the evidence off the forums.
X-Large02.22.09 - 7:55 pm
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I guess you could do it with roasted green chiles, but that would be something completely different. Although, it would be good. If you were to do it that way, I would recommend Hatch Green chiles, roasted....not Anaheim Chiles.
tern02.22.09 - 7:55 pm
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if you dont like it? dont go.
if you have suggestions...go right ahead and let us know.
if you dont like how people are behaving..speak up and tell them that theyre riding like an asshole and making the rest of us look bad.
i know i had to regulate a grip of people last night.
haha including one guy going into on coming traffic yelling at everyone else to "stay right" ha.. oh and DONT RIDE FIXED if your only break is you foot draggin on your back wheel. not only is it absolutely dangerous.. your not fooling anyone. no kudos.
as for this ride "sucking balls" shame on whoever started this.
people did put a lot of effort into last nights shabang.
its great if you look in the right places. (stay up front if you dont like the crowds)
its great if your not a bike snob who thinks youre better than everyone else. (im not impressed by your siqq fishtail skids. keep that shit out of crowds its dangerous)
its fantastic..when you have good friends. (yay f-u-n)
and will someone lick jonnys balls already?
yeaahjustine02.22.09 - 7:55 pm
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x large, if the ac thing were going to be an issue, it would have been an issue over a year ago. We have gone over that one so many times that I think I never want to hear about ac units again. I will cool my house with a fan and a block of ice. lol
tern02.22.09 - 7:57 pm
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how come no one is coping down the food knowledge I am dropping.
This thread is about the food I like, at the moment.
tern02.22.09 - 7:58 pm
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Sorry, thought it happened last night.
sink.
X-Large02.22.09 - 8:01 pm
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Here's one.
Tahini, water, soy sauce, hot cock (red hot sauce in clear bottle with a green cap and a rooster on the front), Get the right proportions to make a nice spicy tahini dressing.
Then make a salad of worthwhile greens, jicama, slivered carrots, scallions, garbanzo beans....whatever else you want. Set aside.
Make some soba or udon noodles. Chill in ice water.
Plate the noodles, top with salad and add spicy tahini dressing.
There you go.
tern02.22.09 - 8:04 pm
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i figured the ac destruction thing was clear when i said LAST YEAR in my post. sorry for the confusion.
Come on, at least keep the evidence off the forums.
does this mean no more pictures of people smoking weed and underage kids drinking tecate in the photo gallery?
ruinedbyidiots02.22.09 - 8:21 pm
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tern
go to lunch thread.
you missed out on curry action
KiMS102.22.09 - 8:23 pm
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I like food
food tastes good
I like food
food tastes good
I like food
food tastes good
I'm gonna go to the hardcore show and see F.O.D.
nice, Ray!
tern02.22.09 - 8:25 pm
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woah...how did I just mix up descendants and dead milk men?
tern02.22.09 - 8:27 pm
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rbi,
ive been listening to ace of spades over and over again.
recommend any other motorhead albums?
KiMS102.22.09 - 8:27 pm
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don't let rbi recommend music to you...he likes almost everything that isn't on the radio.
even stoner metal like sleep.:)
tern02.22.09 - 8:30 pm
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Do what you want by Bad Religion is stuck in my head!
EH!
rayrayray02.22.09 - 8:30 pm
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wow, ray....maybe we should call your experiments in cooking Dalmerian.
What do you think?
tern02.22.09 - 8:32 pm
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okay...I need to go to bed...nice to hear from you rayrayray...I still think it is awesome that you did that metric in house slippers.
bye
tern02.22.09 - 8:34 pm
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haha, thanks
I'll do it again oneday
rayrayray02.22.09 - 8:35 pm
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the best motorhead record is called ON PAROLE.
it was recorded before motorheads s/t album, and has an entirely different line up.
lemmy on bass (formerly of SAM GOPAL and HAWKWIND)
larry wallis on guitar (of the phenomenal british band THE PINK FARIES)
lucas fox on drums (of the punk band WARSAW PAKT)
ruinedbyidiots02.22.09 - 8:35 pm
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$ 100 dollar question....
Why is there a Verbal Abuse album at Ameoba for $300?
rayrayray02.22.09 - 8:37 pm
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We have lust for C.R.A.N.K. Mob
Gav02.22.09 - 9:27 pm
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Crank Mob sucks my balls so good that I've decided to go to the next one!
Joe Borfo02.22.09 - 9:32 pm
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Crank Mob was great. My first one. Been on other rides, but not CM.
Definitely looking forward to the next one.
BillyGoat02.22.09 - 10:25 pm
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Ok peeps, back to topic.
I pledge to attend every crank mob with the intention of fuctioning as safety officer to promote responsible biking and MR style FUN. That is if there are no objections.
I will be handing out my own spoke cards along the lines of the crankmobments.
Love
Andrew
Mohicano02.22.09 - 10:31 pm
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Andrew ill be part of your rogue safe mob movement. Lets put ulocks aroudn peoples necks
robin swabin02.22.09 - 10:59 pm
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Andrew ill be part of your rogue safe mob movement. Lets put ulocks aroudn peoples necks
robin swabin02.22.09 - 10:59 pm
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@KIMS
Ride with no name was great; you def. should have been there!
@TERN
"Get a real bike!" :)
@LOL
"graham,
this is totally relevant.
just so i can prove it to the cycling community that i occasionally get blowjobs, im gonna try to talk my girlfriend into me taking a picture of said blowjob.
only so i can prove to graham and brooke who doesnt know how to stop her bike that i actually do get laid.
this way, crank mob wont be so out of control.
the reason crank mob was so lame was bc my girlfriend is on the rag and that upset the balance of the universe which caused assholes to be assholes and have brooke crash the fuck out of her bike.
KiMS1
02.22.09 - 5:54 pm
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ahahaha!
ruinedbyidiots
02.22.09 - 5:54 pm
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Lee Diskin!
BICYKILLER
02.22.09 - 5:56 pm"
HAHHAH
imachynna02.22.09 - 11:17 pm
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RBI, the pic of the dude kicking in the fan was a ride that I called them on, and asked them WTF are they doing. Not one person backed me up online when I said this was bullshit. So I just laugh at people now when they say they'll back someone up for this or that. The only one's you can most likely rely on to back your shit up are your close friends on the ride.
User102.22.09 - 11:22 pm
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Thanks Alex and Richie for putting this ride together. You guys did a great job in planning everything. Having that band play in that parking lot was way cool. I thought the length of the ride was just fine for everyone. You guys are bringing a lot of new people into the fold. It will remain to be seen if they expand their riding to more than once a month. I hope so.
You're always going to have some fuck ups on these rides, so don't stress on it too much. Deal with it the best way you know how. I trust you guys can do it.
Richie your sound system is the shit! Nice job on putting it together. Hope you're rocking other rides this summer!
User102.22.09 - 11:28 pm
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I didn't play any role in organizing this ride - all thanks goes to richtotheie and onethirtynine.
I keep going back to this - what the hell does yelling on the internet do about anything? Seems like an easy thing to do while you're hungover on Sunday, but some of y'all just come across as irate know-it-alls with an unrealistic model of ride policing. Hysterically berating straw men does nothing to persuade anyone.
I'd prefer to spend my Sunday riding 50+ miles scouting a ride. Which I did.
Alex Thompson02.22.09 - 11:48 pm
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tWATT? I CUNT HEAR YOU. YOU DON'T HAVE A MEGAPHONE.
Joe Borfo02.22.09 - 11:53 pm
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hey Alex did you have something to say?
----- tortuga_veloce -----
FAIL #1: you flaunted.
"True revolutionaries do not flaunt their radicalism, they cut their hair, put on suits and infiltrate the system from within."
FAIL #2: you have no means to stand upon.
"The end is what you want, the means is how you get it."
FAIL #3: on myself for allowing myself to read this thread and be angered over the negativity and the ignorance.
GET AWAY FROM YOUR COMPUTER, RIDE A BIKE AND SMILE. YOU ARE ALIVE!
soulallinski
01.30.09 - 5:18 pm
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HATE THREAD SHOULD END HERE, CRANK MOB IS THE K EPITOME OF ALL RIDES IN SOCAL. ANYONE WHO WANTS TO COMPLAIN CAN MOVE TO WHERE I LIVE AND SUFFER SLOW DEATH!!!
END THREAD.GOV
bentstrider02.23.09 - 3:05 am
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IF YOUR NOT JUMPING ROPE,
YOU AIN"T HAVING FUN
FORGET ABOUT IT
sexy02.23.09 - 4:02 am
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Shit if this ride sucked balls, I wana go on MOHICANO ride!!!!
When is the next ride????
User102.23.09 - 12:30 pm
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"GRAHAM:
U R FUCKIN RETARDED GET THE STICK OUT OF UR ASS. BTW, GIRLS LOOOOVE THE DEAD LOOK AND THE PONYTAIL, SO KEEP ROCKIN IT AND MAYBE ULL GET UR PENCIL DICK SUCKED SOON"
Graham is so sexy man. I totally love the dead look.
Mike, your my hero.
Furthermore I intended to hit this thread up the morning after C.Mob but I was too busy thinking of how AWESOME CRANK MOB WAS! And waiting by the phone...she said she'd call. I had so much fun. Come on pizza making! I freaked with a panda, man....it was so dope. Thank you. Westsidaz for getting me back home an hour ago. And thank you Knittens for Spam.
Tarmonster.02.23.09 - 2:56 pm
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"MOHICANO SUX BALLS"
SKIDMARCUS
02.23.09 - 3:37 pm
jesus02.24.09 - 4:03 pm
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-@RBI - the only marks left from last years best buy roof thing are the drawings on the conditioner grills. Everything else has been painted over.
I fondle crank mobs balls every month.
richtotheie02.24.09 - 4:15 pm
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rbi is on the right side of the law.
tern02.24.09 - 4:19 pm
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rbi likes cops...just in general.
tern02.24.09 - 4:20 pm
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"I fondle crank mobs balls every month."
ahahahahaha!
richtotheie FTW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
bondink02.24.09 - 4:30 pm
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I mean, I've got a busy weekend coming up and need to get a head start.
theroyalacademy02.24.09 - 4:56 pm
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(I really wish I could be more constructive, really, but working has made me bitter and cynical again.)
theroyalacademy02.24.09 - 4:58 pm
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Two people ran into me, and the second guy put his pedal into the spokes of my front wheel. I just HAD to ride my nice bike... Please hold your line and your liquor. I still love the mob though. Next month C.R.A.N.K. Mob is on my birthday so that should be a lot of fun, but I'll be on a beater bike, not my beloved Bianchi.
Velocipede02.24.09 - 7:13 pm
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And for all you complainers and naysayers out there, there is also the viable alternative known as
C.O.U.C.H. MOB!!!!(C.rabby O.bnoxious U.nionized C.rackwhores of H.ades)
you could partake in.
The event occurs at 9:30 PM, PST at the corner of yo' Momma's bedroom.
Spend an entire evening watching reruns of Three's Company while drinking endless amounts of Kool-Aid and munching on TV dinners!!!
And then afterward, call your boss and demand more OVERTIME!!!!
You see, there are plenty of ways to make your Saturday nights into an endless night of activity!!!
You're talking to the expert right here!!!
bentstrider02.25.09 - 9:11 am
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People complain because CM is great.
Like I said before. Rides that attract 300 plus people are large, boisterous and targeted by the crotchety old guys who get a rise out of complaning.
I enjoy CRANK MOB, Critical Mass and all the other rides that are large, fun, a little out of control, but really empower the bicyclist.
Long Live CRANK MOB!
sgrant02.25.09 - 9:23 am
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Sucks balls that we still have to have this thread visible...
Thanks for the courteous thread title, Andrew Defries! I'm sure the ride organizers really appreciate your input.
For fuck's sake... SINK
jonnyboy02.25.09 - 9:50 am
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are the forums really this slow
or is the suckiness of crank mob really the hot topic?
_iJunes02.25.09 - 9:57 am
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why would you want to sink something thats so
empowering?
ruinedbyidiots02.25.09 - 10:19 am
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The next CM's going to have 800 people no matter what this thread title is!
...but Mohicano still sux balls.
SKIDMARCUS02.25.09 - 10:22 am
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Some people become crotchety old men way before their time.
One has to ask the question: Nature or Nurture.
LLCM!
urbanpedal02.25.09 - 10:28 am
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Reply
-->
Ridazz Roulette!
328 sucks balls.
This was my first ride. SO AWESUM!!!! DRUNK MOB FOR EVA!!!!!!!
