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with the economy crashing and my school grants running low, ive been eating a lot of homemade bean and rice burritos (btw, rbi, that mexican rice recipe ratio is the shit).
the beans and rice combo leaves my bowels rumbling to the point of nuclear methane explosion.
i would just like to say that ive gotten really good at aiming my ass to leave fart clouds in front of unsuspecting folks pacelining behind me.
i especially love leaving clouds while climbing hills and everyones taking huge deep breaths. they get a mouthful of ass and i think thats pretty fucking awesome.
anywho,
come to tuesday night special and let me fart in your mouth.
if its a big enough paceline you can get away with it.
you gotta be much more careful about spitting.
I always try to take shit before a serious ride anyway. who needs to carry around that extra weight. An unscientific survey says 90% of all farts are caused by unnaturally holding back shits.
someone brought up farting while riding fixed before, and how you cant do it because youre always sitting down. whoever said it was a fool.
anyway, in case anyone else wants to steal the burrito rice recipe that canadienne came up with and i perfected, you just need a few things.
1 cup rice
1 cup water
1 can el pato
2 tablespoons tapatio
combine all in the rice maker and wait for it to cook. then burn your tongue.
the jumex is for you to drink while the rice is cooking.
apparently i was the "fool" talking about farting while riding fixed.
its not that i had a problem with trying to fart while sitting, i mean who could do that, it was more like when i stand to fart while riding, my ass cheeks were clenched.
regardless, it was a retarded topic posted on this retarded website for retarded cyclists.
with all the dangers that come from riding with a bunch of drunken snotty kids, the last you should be worrying about is getting a whiff of what i had for lunch.
I've tried farting while sitting on the saddle, and for some reason (maybe it was the type of fart, I don't know) I couldn't do it. But isn't this thread a repost?
that's happened to me many times. one time, someone commented on the loudness of my fart while i was right next to Richie's speaker. i was flattered.
in any case, to prevent flatulence and save money, you can cook the beans from scratch (dry beans) and after soaking them overnight, remove the skins. it's a little time-intensive, but it will eliminate your need to fart.
what bacteria are you talking about? theres none in a fart to make you sick if thats what youre wondering. in order to properly answer your question, you need to word it properly.
bacteria is everywhere. they are on every surface you touch, on every hand you shake. if there are bacteria in farts they would not get through the clothing. if you are going to worry about such bacteria, youre the boy in the bubble and youll never do anything.
does your safety bubble make it so you cant complete your thoughts and have to end everything with an ellipse?
if you fart in your safety bubble, does it filter out all that bacteria, or do you just huff it all day?
I know someone who, while doing karaoke in a huge ass bowling alley with lots of air space, walks outside in the biggest downpour of the rainy season to let loose his/her fart.
"i would just like to say that ive gotten really good at aiming my ass to leave fart clouds in front of unsuspecting folks pacelining behind me. "
well no shit (no pun intended) this guy believes everyone on the rides (90% according to him) are not to be trusted or dont follow that little rule of "no rider left BEHIND." what a fucking dick!!
Sounds like they look up to u kims since they ask you what u ride etc etc. they only want to be like u. Dont be a dick and show them the right way how not to be a hipster in the MR community.
they ask you your ratio and how much your ride costs and all that crap because they want to fit in with the cool kids. too bad the legit cool kids could give two shits about those sorts of things. one day in the future they might understand, but by then the fad has long gone and they are on to the next cool thing. meanwhile the legit cool kids are still doing whatever they were doing in the first place.
1. fecal coliforms in our water supply (work stuff)
2. deals at the super market (im frugal as hell)
3. loved ones (family, friends, significant other)
@kims
Yeah, I decided to go back with Lee when everyone split at Ralph's since I had no idea where the fuck I was and would rather make it to the train with almost 0 miles ridden then be stranded way the fuck out there. Haha.
I once got in an empty elevator that someone else had mega-farted in and on the next floor, a really hot tv star (the redheaded secretary from mad men) got in the elevator with me. Of course, I found the situation really funny, so was trying to suppress my laughter, quite unsuccessfully, which only made me look that much more guilty. I'd be dating a tv star now, I tell you, if it weren't for that damned anonymous fart!
How is it you guys can keep on subject when you're talking about farting, but when you're talking about underage drinking, it goes off subject and stays off subject with way over a 100 posts????
yes. expose your noxious fumes to naked flame and watch them EXPLODE. i firmly believe that if we somehow found a way to harness the power behind flatulence the world's energy crisis would be solved. it's a renewable, cost effective, and practical form of fuel. now if i could only figure out some sort of contraption to... how do i put this.... SUCK FARTS OUT OF MY ASSHOLE.
1 cup rice
1 cup water
1 can el pato
2 tablespoons tapatio
combine all in the rice maker and wait for it to cook. then burn your tongue.
the jumex is for you to drink while the rice is cooking.
rbi,
try adding 2 garlic cloves, one unchopped serrano pepper and 1/4 cup of minced onion... and it will be much more savory.
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