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Thread Box:
NEW KUANG LEE SCRIPT
Thread started by md2 at 08.20.09 - 4:53 pm

scene 1: (boy rolls up with ten speed with badly out of true wheels, and proceeds to tough guy and girl group).

Lonely boy: "Hey, can I ride with your group?"

(camera only focused on tough guy's face sucking on a ring pop)

Tough guy: No, punk bitch shit face, want me to kick your weak ass?"

Lonely boy: "oh, okay"

(camera pans out and tough guy and his crew are all riding 16" kiddie bikes. Tough guy proceeds to spit out a ring pop and honk his kiddie bike horn and says:)

Tough guy: "Come on Mother Fuckers, lets roll"

---

Scene 2 (i dont want to hog the script--you guys can add scene 2-- the riding sequence before the bike breaks)

---

Scene 3: the bike breaks down

(boy desperately seeking love and friendship, rides with an underground Los Angeles group, suddenly has his handlebars fall off his bike).

----

Scene 4: the repair

(Boy pulls over and moments late the girl comes from behind. She pulls an extra set of handle bars out of her bag).

Girl with birds nest in ears: "Need some help?"

Boy: "shouldnt you be riding with your friends you trifling whore?"

(She fixes the bike for him)

Boy: "should we catch up to them?"

Girl: "Are you crazy? I was so far behind when I saw you, lets go for a walk? Plus I got to fix something else

(girl starts scratching her arm)

---


(Scene 5: Boy and girl walk through China Town)

Girl with ear infection and huge cotton swabs in ear: "Friends are overrated. I actually would rather spend my time by myself listening to T-Rex."

Boy with too much hair in face: "Yeah, the La Brea Tar Pits were the first thing I saw when I arrived in Los Angeles; it was amazing"

(Girl looks a boy with confusion on her face)

Girl: "Yeah, well can you help me roll up my sleeve so I can shoot up?"

(Girl proceeds to pull cotton swabs out of ear)

Boy with no friends: "You don't deserve to be lonely, But those drugs you've got won't make you feel better, Pretty soon you'll find it's the only Little part of your life you're keeping together"

Girl with 12" subwoofers on her ears: "Haven't laughed this hard in a long time, I better stop now before I start crying"

Boy: "I'm nice to you, I could make it through, But you're already somebody's baby"

Girl: "I could make you smile, If you stayed a while, But how long will you stay with me, baby?"

Boy: You're wonderful

Girl: And it's beautiful

Boy: And if I went with you, I'd disappoint you too

Girl: Well I'm already somebody's baby

(The Girl's tough boyfriend enters scene)

Tough Guy: "Guess who back in the motherfuckin house, With a fat dick for your motherfuckin mouth"



Girl: I have to go

Boy: No, please stay with me...(boy looks around, and rubs his arms as if its cold) where am I?

Girl: China town dont worry, plus those are my people

Boy: "LAAAAAAME!!!! lame, lame lame, you're a lame-o. Didnt anyone ever tell you its lame to have friends out of obligation? Lame!"

Girl: What?

Boy: "I said, Its lame to have friends out of obligation"

Girl: "I know, but what the hell does that mean?"

Boy: "I dont know, its just lame that you wont stay with me"

Girl: "You dont love me, you just love my doggystyle"

(girl starts to ride away)

Boy: (whispers) "lame"

Girl: (from a distance): Did you call me lame again?

Boy: "lame"

(Girl rides off with tough guy. Boy shows signs of fright from China Town dragon statues)

----

Scene 6: More riding after being dumped by a junkie

(Boy catches up with the group. We get shots of:

--Riders littering
--Tagging
--Other riders throw their trash at the poor boy, pointing their fingers at him laughing
--Riders insult him (I leave this part of the script to TIMESARECHANGING)
--Riders are riding on the wrong side of the rode, half pipe in the middle street, with local freestyle riders doing tricks.
--Maybe some riders are just lying on the floor dead
--I think a street brawl should break out with motorist
--random women running around crying hysterical
--Trannies, we need trannies
--People being choked with Banana Republic belts and scarves

everyone just gets beat the fuck up)

----


Scene 7: The end

(Boy is beat up, bleeding, and his Banana Republic Jacket miraculous turned into a MR jersey. He pulls up to House of Spirits liquor store. In the background Riders are looting the store, while the owners are pointing shot guns in hot pursuit).

(Boy sees tough guy and his friends. Tough guy is crying like a baby because his pink aerospoke wheel was broken in the meyhem and is wiping his tears with a top tube pad).

(Suddenly the girl walks up from behind and looks trashed with condoms hanging from her ears. She semi-startles the boy. He turns around)

Boy: "oh, hey"

Girl: Hey, want to listen to some music?

Boy: (noticing she doesnt have headphones, pauses for a moment) ummmm, yeah, yeah, sure.

(Girl wobbling back and forth, starts to sing Whitney Houston)

Girl: And Iiiiiiiiiiii, will always (and then in a junkie fit, throws up on the boy and passes out as he catches her)

(He embraces her as if he has found true love, looking up to the sky, as if thanking the cosmos for their gift).

The end.

----

By the way scene 5 contains lyrics from Eliot Smith's Twilight song, From a Basement on a Hill. I actually like that song, and i feel semi bad for using it. But my hero put a knife in his chest, so I think we're good


reply






_iJunes
08.20.09 - 4:54 pm

reply


HAHAHAHA!!!



TORTAWOLF
08.20.09 - 4:56 pm

reply


I like...



Dropkick_bruce
08.20.09 - 4:58 pm

reply


LOLOL>.. OMG. I had to stop reading because I was laughing too hard... I'll come back later, when I regain composure, to give a proper critique of this script...





the reverend dak
08.20.09 - 5:00 pm

reply


when does production start?



666
08.20.09 - 5:02 pm

reply


hhahaha... OH fuck. I tried to continue reading, but I started laughing tooo fucking hard... who writes this kind of shit?! It's amazing. Girl scratches arm?! WTF!!!

This is too good. We NEED to make this. But we'll probably get sued by BananaRepublic and Kuang Lee for something... omg.



the reverend dak
08.20.09 - 5:04 pm

reply


HAHAHA YES YES YES.

fuck the yacht, my yacht money will go to the production of this!!! as for scene 2...

MONTAGE!



neverclever
08.20.09 - 5:05 pm

reply


no way dude... I own this... plus I promise i can kick his ass... If he come between this script... Im calling the goons too, I can resurrect the old me in no time.





md2
responding to a comment by the reverend dak
08.20.09 - 5:06 pm

reply


is this Mateo?



Joe Borfo
responding to a comment by md2
08.20.09 - 5:08 pm

reply


Boy: (whispers) "lame"

See, now that is how you write a script.



canadienne
08.20.09 - 5:09 pm

reply


Ok, I finally finished it. The ending... I don't know what happened there. It was like you went over budget and had to cut the losses with a half-ass scene. It had potential, it even kind of reminded me of the end of Dogma, with the whole massacre and whats-her-face singing about irony... oh the irony. The ending failed because that shit would never happen. We'll probably have to screen test multiple endings.

Over all, thumbs up.

Have the characters been casted yet?



the reverend dak
08.20.09 - 5:10 pm

reply


do your thing...

I'm all for whatever you want to do with it... I give to the MR community if they want it... It just gave me reason to pass the day before my ride home.

The last two scenes I imagined were more extreme, but by that time I wasnt even taking it serious... In my mind i was like... if I were Kuang Lee with a major budget, what would I do? And I took everything that does not occur and blew it up (a la Michael Mann / Kuang Lee collabo or something)

Are you guys really going to shoot a parody?





md2
responding to a comment by the reverend dak
08.20.09 - 5:15 pm

reply


it would be awesome if they shot a parody.



palucha66
responding to a comment by md2
08.20.09 - 5:19 pm

reply


I am just very impressed with it. I'm also a little drunk and tired. But I thought that I'd take it seriously, but I couldn't at first because I was laughing too much.

Maybe someone can make a cartoon version... I don't know. It'd be an interesting collaboration project...

I don't have the time, yet.



the reverend dak
responding to a comment by md2
08.20.09 - 5:19 pm

reply


just saying this now the tough guy should be drooby lol. (its a joke dont get butthurt)



palucha66
responding to a comment by the reverend dak
08.20.09 - 5:21 pm

reply


no way man.

Tough guy = gansta PC



canadienne
responding to a comment by palucha66
08.20.09 - 5:23 pm

reply


Im my mind Scene 6 is doable, outside of the major stuff... but you can still have riders insulting, throwing shit at him, riding very stupidly on their bikes...

Scene 7, take out the liqour store conflict.

If you dont think the singing is funny (i dont know why I do)... i havent seen the movie you referred to, but maybe she can not sing. Just ask "want to hear some music?". He says "yes", and then she throws up....blah, blah, blah

I dont know... im getting tired as it is...



md2
responding to a comment by the reverend dak
08.20.09 - 5:25 pm

reply


LOL!!

thats a good idea



palucha66
responding to a comment by canadienne
08.20.09 - 5:26 pm

reply


LOL gangsta PC would be laying down some dope hyco poetry and he gets interrupted by lonely boy.

Genius!



User1
responding to a comment by canadienne
08.20.09 - 5:30 pm

reply


Someone should tag "MR" on his sweater vest.



tortuga_veloce
08.20.09 - 5:31 pm

reply


i think the director should be coolassmike



palucha66
08.20.09 - 5:36 pm

reply


A true masterpiece. 5/5 stars. Make it happen



larsenf
08.20.09 - 7:25 pm

reply


sooooooo funny - 5 Stars!



X-Large
responding to a comment by larsenf
08.20.09 - 8:41 pm

reply


We should get Michael Bay on the last part.



bentstrider
08.20.09 - 9:07 pm

reply


can i be drunk rida #4??? the one that constantly breaks the 4th wall



666
08.20.09 - 9:56 pm

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Can I be the one tagging the wall?



User1
08.20.09 - 11:46 pm

reply


Now that's the way to write a movie worth watching.



indigis
08.20.09 - 11:55 pm

reply


oh... what the hell, since we're back to it... why not...

(the recession did make work slower then)

shotgunBumpBump



md2
06.10.10 - 10:47 am

reply


this is like a 20 layer cake of inside jokes stacked on top of inside jokes with Corey Leet's man seed being used as frosting between each layer.



trickmilla
06.10.10 - 11:08 am

reply

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