Understanding Women
Thread started by
pporras at 02.6.09 - 6:21 pm
One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said, "WHAT??!! What's up with that?!"
So she says the words that every guy on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not for what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I turned over and went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at the South Coast Plaza shopping mall. I walked around with her while she tried on several different -- very expensive -- outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."
We went on to several designer jewelry stores where she picked out a pair of one carat diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement! Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all, sweetie; let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank and her jaw dropped: "WHAT?"
I then said, "Honey, I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not any closer to having sex tonight....but hey, at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.
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with out reading the thread, my comment is
"this guy again"
sexy02.6.09 - 6:28 pm
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oh god... the only thing worse than the lame email forwards from my dad, is the lame email forwards from my dad being posted here.
canadienne02.6.09 - 6:37 pm
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FUCKING STUPID.
jokes on the guy anyway cuz now he REALLY isn't gonna get any! DUMB FUCK
la duderina02.6.09 - 6:41 pm
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"mastur your bation...play with your own squishy"
-Andre 3000
pretti*ugli02.6.09 - 6:45 pm
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is this the same guy that was posting stuff bout how his significant other left him for some macho mtb dude?
KiMS102.6.09 - 6:45 pm
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dude that thread was about another guy i know! and no thankfully it's not me! But i can say after many strippers and hookers later anything is forgivable/achiveable!Ha got some!
pporras02.6.09 - 6:48 pm
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actually valley ball rules! except for the 18 dollar charge for 3 mini water bottles! any one been to club ermosillo?
pporras02.6.09 - 6:49 pm
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it's funny cuz it's true...
understanding women is like understanding death/taxes. they're equally unknowable and trying to figure them out will only leave you frustrated and angry.
pporras02.6.09 - 6:55 pm
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you had sex with a hooker?
KiMS102.6.09 - 6:58 pm
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hell NO ! cida no mames cabron! never! a hooker no way! but a slutt now thats diffrent! JK.
pporras02.6.09 - 7:00 pm
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"what's to understand? we're all humans."
oh hai
diz nut tru aktully
k fenks bai
Knittens02.6.09 - 7:46 pm
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"oh god... the only thing worse than the lame email forwards from my dad, is the lame email forwards from my dad being posted here."
Huh? I thought RBI's video was pretty cool.
The original joke in this thread? Fuckin' lame.
toweliesbong02.6.09 - 8:06 pm
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its threads like this that make me wanna give up this web site.
funanu02.6.09 - 10:02 pm
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The lesson here is: if you're going to be an idiot, at least be an
original idiot.
nathansnider02.6.09 - 10:38 pm
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Ever heard the old saying ?
IF IT HAS WHEELS OR TITS IT WILL GIVE YOU TROUBLE.
Dedicated81802.7.09 - 12:06 am
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It's true, it really is. Often when I am speaking to a woman, she will be all like "I would like to go to a shopping mall and purchase clothes." And then I will be all like "I certainly wish I were drinking domestic beer while watching a sporting contest on television." Then she will counter by pointing out that I am not very good at selecting articles of clothing that go well with each other. However, I invariably recover from this insult by noting the fact that she does not know much about how an automobile runs. Then, if she is in a position to know about it, she will say something critical about my selfishness and lack of finesse during copulation. At this point I usually take out a club and knock her unconscious.
Women are funny, funny people.
PC02.7.09 - 2:16 am
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Date a bike chick and your life will be easier.
Mohicano02.7.09 - 4:12 am
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@towliesbong, I meant the original post. My dad literally sent me that same stupid joke a couple of years ago.
Now, back to the kitchen...
canadienne02.7.09 - 3:30 pm
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I know, I know, I just thought it was funny that it followed rbi's video.
toweliesbong02.7.09 - 3:35 pm
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