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Choppercabras 6th Annual Halloween Ride!

10.29.06

http://www.geocities.com/atomiccycles/



Firstly:

These events are dangerous! You may be injured or killed during the course of the ride or events. Participation in any of the events detailed below will ensure injury. You have been warned! We play hard in the valley and we play for keeps, if you don’t have the stones for this kind of action, stay home.



Costume:

Viking attire is mandatory! Figure something out, non-historically accurate costumes (i.e. helmets with horns) are acceptable.  Please get in the spirit of things and dress up.



When?

October 29th (Sunday) We meet at 12:00 noon sharp.

This does not mean 12:30 or 1 pm kiddies! On time! You have a watch? A cell phone? A computer? A severed appendage? All of which tell time! Use them! We ride rain or shine.



Where?

At Atomic Cycles 17322 Saticoy Van Nuys CA, 91406 (818) 609-0113 (on Saticoy east of White Oak, West of Balboa, 1/10 of a mile West of Louise)



Who?

Anyone and everyone that likes to ride bikes and have fun. We Choppercabras are very serious about not excluding anyone that wants to ride a bike. Any bike, any age, any level or rider is welcome, no numbers too small or too big for us to handle. You're invited.



Parking:

Some limited parking is located behind the shop; several of the spaces will be taken for the events so you should arrive early if you have a truckload of bikes to drop off. Additional parking is located just East of Louise (roughly) 1/10 of a mile from the shop.



Do you loan bikes?

No! So please don't ask. But you should, like a toothbrush, have a bike! Geeze.



What level of ride is this?

This is a low speed cruise, we will be going around 5

miles total. When you're in a big crowd (our last ride had over 150 riders) you'll hardly feel it. We have kids age 5 up to kids age 65 on these rides, everyone is welcome and you don't have to have a custom bike to attend. We do stop a few times during the ride to keep the pack together so any level of rider could hang with the most hard-core cyclist.



I can't stress this enough:

Please check your bike over before you show up! The biggest buzzkill is to break down on the ride and miss all the fun. If you show up with a bike in pieces or need repairs, that's fine but I'll have to charge you to fix your stuff, so please have your ride together before you get there. Bring at least 1 extra tube and the tools you'll need to change a flat. Please do this.



Where are we going?

Going to do a loop around the lovely San Fernando Valley, then back to the shop for a parking lot bb-q.



Is it free?

The ride is free, the food and suds are free as well, and you’ve never had it so well! You should at least tip the cook. Last time I bought three hundred hot dogs and they were gone in about 1/2 an hour. Just so you know the guys at the front of the pack get to the grub first.

What events are you going to have? (Bikes are provided for these events)



The Ben-Hurt Chariot race:

This event consists of 6 chariots powered by riders on 16” kiddie bikes and a charioteer in the back. The first to complete the figure eight 10 times wins. How you do this is up to you, foul play is a given. You must complete all laps for the win, no substitutions.



The Midget Figure Eight Race of Doom:

12 bicycles, 12 morons, one figure eight race track, 15 laps, any questions?



The Tall Bike Battle Royale:

Several tall bikers armed with foam weapons (they still hurt) attempt to out ride and fight everyone else in the ring. No kicking of bikes, cutting in line is grounds for removal from the park. Last rider still on his battle steed is the winner; the others are most likely hurt.



The Demolition Derby:

Twelve 20” bikes equipped with metal rams. The objective: destroy the others, be the last one with a rideable bike in the ring, lose the most blood, over exert yourself and throw up. You won! Societal constraints are not applicable within the ring of car tires.



Note about events:

The ring of car tires, otherwise known as the ring of death is a place where the normal laws do not apply. The ring of death is there to keep those that want to get hurt (the event participants) from those that don’t (the spectators). Entering the ring of death means you may be hurt. You will not be spared just because you have a camera, are a child, elderly, a woman, a man, are pregnant, drunk, etc. Enter the ring = pain. Get it? Ok then…



Other questions:

Q: If I show up with my bike in pieces, can you assemble it?

A: Sure, while your at it why don’t you call me a bunch of times at 4 or 5 in the morning so I’m really tired and then find a way to deny me coffee. Sure, fuck yeah I’ll assemble your whole fucking bike! Yes!



Q: If my bike needs a little something, can you fix it before the ride?

A: If time allows and you have the money, yes. It is a bike shop after all.



Q: Can my scooter buddies ride along with you?

A: Only if I can take a crap in your Cheerio’s you bitch. No! Fuck off.



Q: Can I film your event/take photos?

A: For private use, sure. Photographers: Do not get in the way to get your stupid ass shot. Last time I almost broke some idiots legs because he stepped in the ring of death. Fool. Next time I will not stop, I’ll break your fucking legs and you’ll never get to waste all of mom and dad’s money pursuing your worthless film degree so you can go work at Blockbuster. If you’re some other group, company, agency, network etc. You must contact me first. Most likely no. No matter what I get a copy of all pics and or film to be used to promote future rides. 		 


Posted by the reverend dak
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