Choppercabras 9th Annual Halloween Ride!
Choppercabras 9th annual Halloween Ride is a bicycle event unparalleled in all of Los Angeles, perhaps all the globe! Bicycles bashed, blood spilled, hot dogs eaten, 2 wheeled mayhem unlike anything you’ve ever seen! (unless you’ve been to one of these before.) And it’s all free! Did I mention hot dogs?
What you will need:
You ready to have fun
A bicycle in good working order
You dressed up as a zombie. Dress up, it’s more fun.
A note on the time. Do your best to arrive on time or you’ll miss out on all the fun, we don’t wait for you, as there will be hundreds of people there on time ready to ride. We start at Noon, not hipster time, but real time.
How to get here:
101 Exit Balboa, head North until you hit Saticoy, make a left go till you see Louise, park. The event location is ½ block west of Louise in the south side of Saticoy. Parking in the back will be taken up by event stuff, best to park on the street.
From 118 as above but south on Balboa, make a right on Saticoy.
From 405 exit Sherman Way go West until you hit Louise, North on Louise as above.
Take Orange line to Louise, North on Louise until you are at Saticoy, go west on Saticoy, follow the noise and smells, you’re there!
Look for mess of bikes, parachute into Ralph’s parking lot, and watch out for Coldstone patrons, they may eat you.
As always you get some free shwag at Choppercabras events.
How Far can your Zombie jump? Contest:
A ramp. A small Childs bicycle. A kiddie pool full of? Brains perhaps? Maybe no kiddie pool. But the zombie that hurls themselves the farthest is the winner.
Take your zombie out to lunch chariot race:
Teams of two, one driver and one zombie charioteer. Each lap the zombie in the chariot will have to eat a portion of some jello brains. You have to eat a portion each lap, no dribbling it on the floor wasting good brains or spitting it out. Any zombie worth their salt will eat any and all brains offered to them. First to complete 10 laps is the winner.
The hands of Armageddon race of doom:
Mini tall bikes going one way and the giant “spools of doom” going the other. Two races in one! Bikes brake, people get hurt. But if you’re undead you’ll feel no pain so the race should be a cinch for any undead.
The Demolition Derby:
We save the best for last, the mainstay of all Choppercabras events, the bicycle Demolition Derby! Twelve bikes with metal rams welded to the front of them, pit the participants resolve and pain thresholds at this last man standing event has no rules. The goal is to destroy the other rider’s bikes, their endurance, their ability to walk, their souls, to win; you must break them (insert phony Russian accent here). Ram, kick, and thrash your way to victory. The winner gets a trophy, perhaps some impressive scars. This event is violent in the extreme, you will get hurt, watch from a safe distance.
*Special bikes will be provided for all the events. You still need a bicycle for the ride on the ride.
We will do a few miles at a leisurely pace through the mean streets of the San Fernando Valley. We ride a few miles, we go slowly, and we try and keep the ride together. We like to see all riders occupy the right lane only of the street so we can co-exist with traffic and maximize our fun. The cause if fun, pick fights with people in cars on your ride, not ours. This is a cruise, a put, a crawl, not a race just so you know. When we get done we will be back at Atomic Cycles for the bb-q. Did I mention free hot dogs?
Back to base for some dogs and conversation, now time to relax. Dogs are free until they run out. There is a bar in the same parking lot, a liquor store and grocery across the street just so you know.
Hang out as much as you like, but the show is over folks! Help cleaning up is always appreciated.
Show up with a bike ready to ride, any kind of bike is welcome. Do not show up with a basket case or a bike that needs major repairs, you may not get them.
I do not loan bicycles for the ride. Bring a bike that is rideable to the ride, save yourself the embarrassment and be ready.
Dress up in costume. It’s ok; you’ll still be “cool” if you dress up.
Show up on time. Noon. I recommend not partying until 5 am the night before if you want to make it on time. I’ve heard all the excuses and I don’t care because it is you who will miss out.
I want copies. Free to photograph for personal use. Professional use, get in touch first. I want copies.
The Ring of Death.
The Ring of Death or “ROD” is the ring of car tires that the events take place in. Entering the ring of death means you are accepting that you may get hurt, will most likely get hurt, and are not going to cry to me later about your injuries. If you jump in the ring to take a picture, you may get hurt, you may damage your gear. If you find this too dangerous, then by all means: STAY ON THE SAFE SIDE OF THE ROD! You have been duly warned.
Audience Participation of aforementioned events.
If you want to participate in an event you may understand that you may (well, for sure) come under some form of bodily harm. There have never been more serious injures than some cuts and bruises but just so you know, these events are a bit rough. No kids may do an event but the ride. Sorry.
If you are a spectator and interfere with any of the events, you are accepting the fact that the event participants can and may hurt you. In other words: if you want to join in, then do so. If not, watch, but not both.
Do not throw the car tires. Don’t. It breaks up the action.
The list of Yes!
Can anyone come?
Is it ok for kids?
Can I help?
Can I bring some drinks, food for everyone?
Can I have some fun?
The list of NO’S!
Can I borrow a bike?
Can we ride scooters, vespas, mini bikes on your ride?
Do we need to belong to the Choppercabras to ride?
Can I film your event without asking first?
Any other questions can be directed to Paul (818) 609-0113 firstname.lastname@example.org