farting techniques
Thread started by
KiMS1 at 08.26.08 - 4:21 pm
my drivetrain crapped out a few weeks ago and it forced me to go fixed for financial reasons.
after asking matt maceda if im gonna have trouble getting used to it, his response was:
"well honestly, it may sound funny, the hardest part about riding fixed is trying to figure out a way to fart mid spin."
i must agree with matt.
learning stupid ass skip stops and skids came within hour one,
but its been a few weeks and i have yet learned to fart while riding.
not that it's a huge deal or anything but does anybody else have trouble with this?
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wear depends™ and never worry again...
Roadblock08.26.08 - 4:38 pm
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speaking of
i think there should be a depends ride.
everyone wears depends.
everyone pees their pants.
we wont have to worry about pee breaks and what not.
then again, i wonder if its possible to pee while spinning.
that sounds like a bit of a challenge too.
KiMS108.26.08 - 4:42 pm
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is that when you ride all bow legged?
honestly, the effort it takes to fart is equivalent to mashing up sepulveda pass.....
sigh,
may whoever is drafting me never smell the the wonderful bouquet that are my insides.
:(
KiMS108.26.08 - 4:59 pm
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Six point five.
Sorry it's so low. Any other day I would have given you at least a seven, but Ink Head set the bar pretty high today, and it just didn't seem like you wanted it as much.
PC08.26.08 - 5:13 pm
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Six point four. I'm really sorry, but we have rules here.
PC08.26.08 - 5:25 pm
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Legendary farter Roadblock does NOT ride fixed.
chipOff08.26.08 - 5:30 pm
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am i posting too much? sorry, im just so bored in class right now.
i dont mean to flood this forum with such inane topics.
i dunno, after reading about more kids on hoopty converted fixed gears and where they can buy spoke cards, i asking how i can fart while riding would be a legitimate question.
KiMS108.26.08 - 5:30 pm
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"i asking how"
what the fuck brain??? make grammar sense!!!
yeah this is how bored i am, replying to my own replies.
KiMS108.26.08 - 5:31 pm
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If you fart on a tallbike, everyone behind you knows. Its akin to crop dusting.
Annie was riding behind me once and said, "did something just die?" She still doesn't know. Shhhh.
SPOOK08.26.08 - 5:35 pm
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When your forward-foot (the one you start off with/like to bring forward when track-standing and skidding) is at 12 o'clock prepare to release noxious gasses, when you're at 9 and 3 o'clock is the time you should be in the middle of the act of air pollution, then when the forward foot is starting to come down you should be all done.
The biggest thing to it really is either having the right gear ratio so you don't spin too fast, or learning to fart really quickly.
I wish Sheldon Brown (RIP) would have written an article about this before he passed away. This is an important issue that deserves greater exposure.
vladster08.26.08 - 6:37 pm
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okay. read the name of your thread. hit yourself with a brick.
now change your diet. and i mean that in the least forum asshole-ish way possible. infact i hate to be that guy, but i'm all about eating well.
take care of yourself, and i don't know you but, nice to meet you - wear a helmet.
HANDBONE08.26.08 - 8:07 pm
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If you fart on a tallbike, everyone behind you knows. Its akin to crop dusting.
Annie was riding behind me once and said, "did something just die?" She still doesn't know. Shhhh.
SPOOK
08.26.08 - 8:35 pm
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It's called the same thing in a kitchen !!! ask funanu !
~Wo0o0o0o0o0o0oo0o0o0o0o0op ~!
HANDBONE08.26.08 - 8:08 pm
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oh wow kims is fucking MIKEKIM
WHATSUP YOU FUCKING PALENDROME !
person i love as much as i don't trust ! whatsup buddy. stop complaining and let's go ride.
HANDBONE08.26.08 - 8:17 pm
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just track stand and squeeze. problem solved.
Roadblock08.26.08 - 8:41 pm
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this is also my main problem with riding fixed. but i usually just try to squeeze it out while standing off the seat
sezdaniel08.27.08 - 1:59 am
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if a depends ride does indeed occur, it should be reserved for next july 4th and called "In Depends Day"
Undercover Bob08.27.08 - 3:40 am
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The fart-fixed ride!
Everybody spend the day eating chili, cabbage, pork 'n beans, etc., then we ride that night.
Prizes for loudest, longest and most original technique.
Creative Thing08.27.08 - 7:58 am
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then again, i wonder if its possible to pee while spinning.
you need to ride with dingo more.
ruinedbyidiots08.27.08 - 8:46 am
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It is best to " LET R RIP " while doing a track stand and yell out DAMN>>> WHO FARTED>>>>> then ride off.....saying things like man that shit sinks...
Freeekeone08.27.08 - 9:06 am
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Mike Kim is sad that syoma doesnt trust him :(
KiMS108.27.08 - 12:04 pm
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-->
Ridazz Roulette!
Put it to good use!
Waitwaitwait..
squeeze the handlebars ?