ass grab
Thread started by
ephemerae at 04.21.09 - 10:19 pm
Grr. Just had my ass groped by a passing car while riding bike at high speed down Fair Oaks (Alta/Pasadena). Did not crash, but still, this annoyed the shit out of me.
Be on the lookout for a black flatbed utility vehicle with beater-wearing yobbos in it.
I think this is a first for me. I've been buzzed way too close by similar yobbos a few times, but this is the first time I've been contacted. I shoulda sat my fat ass on that hand and crushed it beneath my ominous bulk.
I almost wish them physical harm. My first thought is that I need to carry blowdarts which administer nanobots with a hunger for calcium, and make my enemies all have floppy bones.
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"My first thought is that I need to carry blowdarts which administer nanobots with a hunger for calcium, and make my enemies all have floppy bones."
+15623
danya04.21.09 - 10:20 pm
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HAH!!
Try being a girl, I've had my ass slapped multiple times.
Take it as a compliment, in your case. In my case, ULOCK through the windshield I say!! Alright I'm not that aggressive, but maybe one day I'll use my lock for something other than a novelty item.
feelingrandy04.21.09 - 10:24 pm
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Crazy shit I've gotten my ass grabbed on two consecutive mr rides.... its really crazy out there folks.
Roadblock04.21.09 - 10:59 pm
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yeah that's the main reason i wanted to share the story, just to remind folks tobe vigilant cos people will try to fuck with you, i got off lightly i think, coulda been much worse
ephemerae04.21.09 - 11:06 pm
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I hate the fact that all the fuckheads who scream shit at me are never seen again.
It's like they actually fear parking some place along the same route they ass-hatted on and finding their vehicle getting violently dragged off by a heavy-cable hooked to a speeding powder-train!!!
bentstrider04.21.09 - 11:09 pm
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On the ride with no name, a few months back, i was riding along minding my own business, when all the sudden someone squeezed my ass, i turned quickly to see who it was, but they were moving a lot faster than I was, and i all i caught was the dude's back as he weaved through the pack. Red sweatshirt. For the next 20 minutes i was on a mission to catch the red sweatshirt, and get my revenge on the shameless perv.
I dropped my phone no less than 3 times from my pocket in that twenty minutes, and i lost sight of the asshole a few times too.
The frustration and anger was at a boiling point. Finally, i'm behind the red sweatshirt. I grab his U-Lock out of his belt, and bolt forward. I turn back to see his face; nobody i'd ever seen before. My plan was hit him with it at the next stop if he showed no remorse, or, toss the lock into a trashcan (forcing him dig it out like the bum he was) if he got on his knees and kissed my dirty ass feet and apologized sincerely.
Stop rolls around. I confront homeboy, who is standing with some girl on the sidewalk. It turns out it wasnt him at all, and his girlfriend, who was riding with him the whole time vouched. And the girl thought i was trying to hit on her man by "coyly plucking his u-lock from his pants." ugh.
so who did it then?
Candy Cane04.21.09 - 11:33 pm
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It wasn't me...
dannyzuko
04.22.09 - 2:09 am
...........i know what you did last summer......
Candy Cane04.21.09 - 11:33 pm
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Why don't we all paste "body-warmth activated" super-epoxy to our asses when we roll through the sketchy parts of town?
The perp will be all like "ha-ha.....oh shit!!!! lemme go lemme go, I swear on the Virgin Mary I lost my head and didn't know what I was thinking!!!"
bentstrider04.21.09 - 11:45 pm
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^^haha not on that particular occasion ;)
i know who it was.
:X
Candy Cane04.21.09 - 11:45 pm
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Yes Bentsrider that should do the trick. Or perhaps I should put on some nuclear powered speedos and blast their hands off with some dynomite powder stored in a intergalactic motorcycle helmet!
Roadblock04.22.09 - 12:07 am
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I have a feeling Adam's butt hole is actually a Star Gate Portal to another dimension. Anyone brave enough to venture through it?
Anyone?
Joe Borfo04.22.09 - 12:11 am
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It might be a stargate.... or it could be erin gray and gil gerard's dead carcasses riding in on a geothermal photon induced seizure from 500 years into the future!
Roadblock04.22.09 - 12:17 am
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"
I have a feeling Adam's butt hole is actually a Star Gate Portal to another dimension" -Borfo
Im laughing so hard, im crying.
Candy Cane04.22.09 - 12:19 am
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ULOCK through the windshield
+100000000000000000000000000
(i've done a ulock to headlight once.)
roadkill04.22.09 - 12:20 am
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It's barely 12:21, guys. This is too much. Wait a little.
imachynna04.22.09 - 12:21 am
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You are NOT going to catch up to me, Chynna!
Joe Borfo04.22.09 - 12:24 am
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I have interwebz on my phone now, so HA
imachynna04.22.09 - 12:29 am
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oh god. now you'll NEVER do your homework.
Candy Cane04.22.09 - 12:35 am
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HEY
I was doing it just a minute ago. But anyway I don't like being on the phone internet. It's too much. But I wasn't supposed to say that. I'm supposed to make Borfo believe that I'll be posting more so he'll get scared. But really I'm just scared. But but but.
Although I should get back to it...
but I like talking to sad people.
imachynna04.22.09 - 12:40 am
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I didn't make sense just then. or now. or ehh
imachynna04.22.09 - 12:44 am
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....I guess it's a sign of how homework-fried my brain is then, because that made perfect sense to me. Then again, it's also taking me 2x as much effort to type normally right now.
danya04.22.09 - 12:50 am
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Fuckin' General Landry better start dialing in the right coordinates!!!
Montezuma's Revenge my left nut!!!!!
bentstrider04.22.09 - 12:55 am
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All this time I thought china had the most posts. Who know it was borfo????
Some one get me my 500 billion kilowatt robotic arm so that I can guide it using my hydrolyzed vapor based lazer sight to press a giant beveled 4 barrel exhaust cam!!
Roadblock04.22.09 - 1:18 am
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wow...that actually makes my stomach turn... what kind of asshole feels entitled to grab a stranger like that
widowmaker04.22.09 - 1:57 am
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BEAUTIFUL. SIMPLY BEAUTIFUL!!
Genius. FUCKING genius!!
imachynna04.22.09 - 7:42 am
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I grab mike's butt all the time. people say they can't help it.
mmaceda04.22.09 - 9:20 am
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you know if you would have gotten their License plate, you could have might have been able to file a police report for some sexual assault charge, Also the driver could have been brought up on charges for the act too. We all need to Get the plates and file reports on these idiots. They might do it again and some nervous rider could get hurt.
glad you didnt get hurt.
thegodofthor04.22.09 - 9:52 am
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god damn, i love this thread.
coldcut04.22.09 - 10:03 am
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god damn i love this, thread.
coldcut04.22.09 - 10:05 am
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My middle name is Grabitass! actually the last bonfire BBQ i had at my place we had a ass grab competition to see who had the tightest ass..Keep em loose no squeezing! LOL! Cheater!
pporras04.22.09 - 11:35 am
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I admit grabbing RBs ass at the last MR. it was delicious.
batgirlkarla04.22.09 - 12:26 pm
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Imagine a driver or car passenger being put on a sex offender list for "ass grabbing" a bicyclist.
If a couple of people were prosecuted, there would be far fewer "ass grabbings".
urbanpedal04.22.09 - 2:17 pm
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Or, as a response, why don't we all just smack a 4wheeled offender with a giant dong as we cruise by?!?!?!?!?
bentstrider04.22.09 - 2:21 pm
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I don't back shit up!!!
I sling that big, long, OSCAR MAYER!!!!
bentstrider04.22.09 - 2:30 pm
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damn. Couldnt upload the pic.
check the link.
https://www.sworddemon.com/p-4057-cobra-system-crossbow.aspx
ONEpedalDEATHkick 81804.22.09 - 4:26 pm
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Carry one of these in your messenger bag like me, and BAM, instant retribution! say goodbye to your s.u.v.'s tire!
ONEpedalDEATHkick 81804.22.09 - 4:28 pm
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screw that, mount on yer xbow on a front fork.
get behind the car and fire away.
have a lever next to breaks just right there
aksendz04.22.09 - 4:36 pm
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lolz NICE!
Its an 80 lb. draw though..... probably wouldnt be as easy as pulling my brake lever.
I love it though, its super discrete for a cross bow. only 19"
ONEpedalDEATHkick 81804.22.09 - 4:59 pm
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I like the dong idea but have an improvement.
you get a huge Dong, (with the suction cup on the balls side)
and as you see the truck, you lick the suction cup and stick it onto the tailgate of the truck.
what would be better then pickup trucks riding around with huge dongs hanging off the back and the driver not knowing.
thegodofthor04.22.09 - 5:15 pm
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we can use pedal power to draw the string. there has to be a way
and brake lever to release it
aksendz04.22.09 - 5:31 pm
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I like the dong idea
Gav04.22.09 - 6:01 pm
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I thought this was going to be a pro-ass-grabbing thread. I'm so disappointed. Many ridazz have great asses...whaddayagonnado?
kryxtanicole04.22.09 - 6:02 pm
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I was violated by a couple girls on the Ride with no Name. I feel ashamed and guilty...
Roadblock04.22.09 - 6:09 pm
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Allan grabbed Raquel's ass in San Diego. It was great.
imachynna04.22.09 - 6:26 pm
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i poked your ass one time in san diego. it was also, great.
african titties!!!!!!
Candy Cane04.22.09 - 6:29 pm
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slapping or poking my ass is dangerous. you're lucky you didnt break any bones in your hand on impact.
Roadblock04.22.09 - 6:54 pm
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RB, i was talking about chynna's ass.
it was oh so fluffy and fun. like a medicine ball. make a babygirl wanna do some yoga n' shit on that ass
Candy Cane04.22.09 - 6:58 pm
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I wasnt talkin to you so much as I was just giving out a genral warning to the public. but you know how people are, they like to take risks ' shit.
Roadblock04.22.09 - 7:00 pm
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make a babygirl wanna do some yoga n' shit on that ass
make a babygirl wanna do some yoga n' shit on that ass
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make a babygirl wanna do some yoga n' shit on that ass
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make a babygirl wanna do some yoga n' shit on that ass
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make a babygirl wanna do some yoga n' shit on that ass
make a babygirl wanna do some yoga n' shit on that ass
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make a babygirl wanna do some yoga n' shit on that ass
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make a babygirl wanna do some yoga n' shit on that ass
make a babygirl wanna do some yoga n' shit on that ass
make a babygirl wanna do some yoga n' shit on that ass
make a babygirl wanna do some yoga n' shit on that ass
make a babygirl wanna do some yoga n' shit on that ass
make a babygirl wanna do some yoga n' shit on that ass
make a babygirl wanna do some yoga n' shit on that ass
make a babygirl wanna do some yoga n' shit on that ass
make a babygirl wanna do some yoga n' shit on that ass
make a babygirl wanna do some yoga n' shit on that ass
make a babygirl wanna do some yoga n' shit on that ass
make a babygirl wanna do some yoga n' shit on that ass
make a babygirl wanna do some yoga n' shit on that ass
make a babygirl wanna do some yoga n' shit on that ass
make a babygirl wanna do some yoga n' shit on that ass
make a babygirl wanna do some yoga n' shit on that ass
make a babygirl wanna do some yoga n' shit on that ass
imachynna04.22.09 - 7:11 pm
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cuddle puddles, out. ass grabbing while riding, IN!
funanu04.22.09 - 7:13 pm
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A little while ago some douche bag rider came up behind me and grabbed at my ass while riding North on Vermont. I turn around and bit his head off. He apologized and said he though I was someone else. Bullshit. You cant mistake someone's a) Bicycle. b) Keys.
I still feel super violated.
Tarmonster.04.22.09 - 7:29 pm
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You can't mistake someone's a.) bicycle b.) keys c.) ass.
Asses are like snowflakes. And, sometimes, medicine balls.
Holy shit.
katiepoche04.22.09 - 7:56 pm
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make a babygirl wanna do some yoga n' shit on that ass
imachynna04.22.09 - 7:58 pm
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i love this forum.
i do.
im smiling and laughing, what a wonderful life
Candy Cane04.22.09 - 8:00 pm
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Someone needs to grab my ass, but I think it's size scares people away.
Gav04.22.09 - 8:06 pm
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damn, ITS not it's
Gav04.22.09 - 8:06 pm
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I'll do it. Now to find those photos of your thighs...
imachynna04.22.09 - 8:08 pm
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Wow, how long ago were those pictures taken. It was The People's ride, but what month?
Gav04.22.09 - 8:16 pm
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i did it... in my dreams :(
66604.22.09 - 8:28 pm
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can we start a thread called "photos of your thighs"?
want
Candy Cane04.22.09 - 9:16 pm
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oh I miss those shorts.
Gav04.22.09 - 9:25 pm
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@Chynna. I second that. Want.
FLaML!
danya04.23.09 - 4:34 pm
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rbi you got some girly legs.
_iJunes04.23.09 - 4:39 pm
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Why don't we just rename this thread the Softcore Porn Section of the Midnight Ridazz Sex Catalog?
There's already enough dry-humping and makeup sex going on about that we could record it all and pay for bandwidth 10 times over!!!
bentstrider04.23.09 - 4:55 pm
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Just put a bag on Tylers head and I'll go to town.
wait. thats not right...
Joe Borfo04.23.09 - 4:58 pm
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I'd post a pic of my flexing hamstrings, but I don't want to damage my lens.
Gav04.23.09 - 5:04 pm
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confession: i saved the photo of tyler's legs to my desktop.
Candy Cane04.23.09 - 8:20 pm
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man, i tried so hard to take a better picture, but all i have are zoom lenses. i need a wide angle!
if you need a leg model for your next photo shoot let me know. i am of service.
ruinedbyidiots04.23.09 - 8:21 pm
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i actually have BIG plans for ridazz portraits. you're on the list. Im working on a book.
Candy Cane04.23.09 - 8:24 pm
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UR ALL SO FULL OF YOUR SELF'S.
TIMESARECHANGING
04.23.09 - 9:59 pm
1. selves. It's plural. No possesive.
2. For good reason... we're all really fucking sexy around here.
danya04.23.09 - 8:24 pm
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confession: I also, of course, saved the photo of his legs. wtf.
want what?
Gav
04.23.09 - 7:33 pm
what cc wants
can we start a thread called "photos of your thighs"?
want
Candy Cane
04.23.09 - 12:16 am
imachynna04.23.09 - 10:17 pm
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I think Junu's legs need a whole thread for themselves.
la duderina04.24.09 - 12:11 am
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bike porn for the ladies?
funanu04.24.09 - 12:12 am
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men can enjoy as well, I know you are funanu! haha jk
la duderina04.24.09 - 12:14 am
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Now here's an ass you can really grab a hold of
la duderina04.24.09 - 12:16 am
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-->
Ridazz Roulette!
wolfpack/bicykiller Chris
racing makes your penis grow
random dude with silky smooth legs
and for the finale