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A nerd was walking down the sidewalk one day when his friend, another nerd, rode up on an incredible shiny new bicycle.
The first nerd was stunned by his friend's sweet ride and asked, "WOW! Where did you get such a nice bike?"
The second nerd replied, "Well, yesterday I was walking home, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up to me on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, 'Take what you want!'"
The second nerd nodded approvingly, "Good choice. The clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
Did you hear about the guy placed on the sex-offenders list for simulating sex with a bicycle in his hotel room?He was bike-urious.
How do you stop a girl from falling off her bike?Remove the Saddle.
I had a knock at my door earlier, it was a policeman..."Mr Cook?""Yes," I replied."I"m afraid your dog has just been reported to have chased someone on a bike."I said, "That"s bullshit, "cause my dog doesn"t have a bike!"
Ohhhh
LOL
My bad, I got accused of being a cop b4 coz of the handcuffs on my bike that I use as locks hehe.
Slammed the perp to teh wall and body searched the ho :P
A tandem rider is stopped by a police car.
"Is there a problem, officer?" asks the rider.
"Perhaps you didn't notice sir, but your wife fell off your bike half a mile back..."
"Oh, thank God for that," says the rider - "I thought I'd gone deaf!"
Two nerds were walking their bikes down the sidewalk after an afternoon ride.
One nerd spots a pile of dog poo up ahead....
"hey man is that a pile of dog pop?"
other nerd says
"yeah, I think it is.... But it's hard to tell. Go smell it just to be sure."
**sniff sniff**
"yeah it smells like poo."
"hmmm I'm not convinced why don't you feel it just to be certain"
"nah man that's gross!"
"oh cmon! We have to be sure..."
"ok fine!"
**nerd touches the poo**
"yup, sure feels like poo!"
"go figure... Well Im still a bit skeptical. Let's be extra vigilant and why don't you TASTE it just to make extra extra sure."
"ahh hell no!"
"c'mon!!"
"no way!"
"due et!"
"oh all right already!"
**nerd takes a big ole chunky chunk and eats it.**
"ok that is DEFINITELY DOG SHIT! Sure glad we didn't step in it!"
A City cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street when a hipster on his new shiny track bike stopped beside him. "Nice bike," the cop said "did Santa bring it to you?" "Yep," the hipster said, "he sure did!" The cop looked the bike over and handed the hipster dude a $25 ticket for a safety violation.The cop said, "Next year tell Santa to put a brake on it." The hipster dude looked at the cop and said, "Nice horse you got there sir, did Santa bring it to you?" "Yes, he sure did," chuckled the cop. The hipster dude looked up at the cop and said, "Next year tell Santa the dick goes underneath the horse, not on top."
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Ridazz Roulette!
